I watched her lifeless body as tears escaped my eyes, cascading down my cheeks. I couldn’t believe she was gone. I was with her not so long ago and, for the first time in months, she actually smiled at me. She even told me she loved me. Was that her way of saying goodbye to me? Of saying goodbye to what we used to share? I can’t believe I lost her to death. I couldn’t protect her from the world’s vultures. I was not there when she needed me the most.

God, why take her away from me? She was still young, she had dreams and goals to fulfil. We had our life together all planned out, but you chose to take her regardless of that. The only woman I have ever loved. The only woman I saw a future with. You took her just like that. You didn’t even give me a chance to say goodbye.

Scenarios of what could’ve gone down before she took her last breath keep haunting me. I’m sure she screamed, begged for forgiveness and mercy for something she didn’t know. I’m sure she cried, I’m sure she even prayed for Your intervention, God. Why would You allow something so tragic to happen to an angel like her? So is this what J. Cole meant when he said, “It always rains the hardest on the people who deserve sun”? Can’t You just let me hold her one more time and hear her giggle?

Are the ones responsible for such an evil act in a right state of mind? You can never molest and murder a person in a right state of mind. She was innocent and very beautiful. It’s the audacity to even approach her with violence and aggression that gets to me. My beautiful Lethabo’s life stolen from her just like that, by a bunch of pathetic horny thieves.

“Indoda ayikhali (the man who does not cry)” doesn’t exist to me. I will cry and mourn my beloved sweet goddess. It’s the least I can do. Hopefully justice will be served for her. I hope it doesn’t fail her, but if it does, God will not fail her, God will not fail me. May Your will be done, Lord.

***

Tell us: What helpful advice do you have for this writer?