Do you really want to know what it feels like to be sad? Do you think it’s peaceful sobbing every night just thinking about how boring your life is, while insomnia and serotonin kick in? It’s not even healthy anymore, it’s toxic! I just want to say that I can’t live like this, I feel numb and dead inside, and I understand the feeling of emptiness now. The worst part of it all is that nobody cares and you can’t do anything about it.

Yes, I watch TV shows, drink beer and smoke, it does help for that moment, but when reality hits I keep zoning in and out. I spoke to someone about it, but they just don’t get it, they think I’m just creating unnecessary scenarios in my head and should stop being dramatic!

I do not talk anymore. I went to therapy and the therapist was talking, but I didn’t hear a single word that she was uttering because my mind was somewhere else, how weird.

Now I feel like a burden to everyone. I just want to be erased from the universe, I’m tired. I wish I had an on and off button for “overthinking” because then I’d switch it off forever. I’m drained emotionally and mentally. I get thoughts of “I don’t want to live anymore”. I feel insecure. Why am I like this, other people are so damn lucky they that they have their life all sorted out and I can’t get my shit together, why can’t I have that? It’s a never-ending list of stupid questions.

I feel like sleeping forever, but I can’t die now, maybe I’m not the only one feeling like this?

One day I’m going to be finally at peace. I just wish I was an 8-year-old then at least I would be happy and have nothing to worry about. But think about it, what would happen if we all gave up? Life is something else.

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