Mindspace
The fathers we may never know
20 hours ago
Once, a few friends and I had a heated debate about fatherhood. Whether it was worse to have an absent father, an absent-minded father, or an inconsistent father. Fuelled by experience, we each flung points we felt justified our position on the matter. They spoke of the pain of having to question the whereabouts of…
Mindspace
Being an Indian girl
a week ago
I’d never really thought about what it actually meant to be an Indian girl until my maternal grandmother and her children (all except my mother) formed a united front to continuously nag me about washing my underpants. “Ladies MUST wash their own underwear," they all said as if the safety of my country depended on…
Mindspace
The power of representation
2 weeks ago
My mother was born in 1939, at the beginning of the Second World War. By the time she was eight, two of her older sisters had already been married off. The one being a 16-year-old bride, while the oldest's marriage was slightly delayed because she was 18 when she got married. For her two older…
Mindspace
Perpetual Fear
3 weeks ago
When I was young, I was almost raped. At least that is what my mom tells me the doctors said. I don’t recall going to the doctors or being examined. I don’t recall any clinics or hospitals; no flashbacks of nurses, nothing. Of course, the mind of a four-year-old is not reliable. It feels like…
Mindspace
The length of my skirt is not consent
4 weeks ago
I remember the day a man stepped in front of me, grabbed my upper arm with enough force to leave a bruise, and poured the dreadful words over my head, “If we weren’t in these streets, I would give you what you are asking for.” He ruined a perfect day. We both looked down at…
Mindspace
On fearing blackness
a month ago
A few years ago, a friend of mine recounted how, during a late-night walk back home after the end of his Friday shift as a waiter, he saw a couple nervously cross to the other side of a busy road upon his approach. About a minute later, he turned around to see the same couple…
Mindspace
Lockdown: The silver lining
a month ago
There has to be a silver lining amidst the chaos caused by COVID-19, there just has to be. I’ve been racking my mind thinking about the possible good outcomes from this pandemic. The truth is, in the past month we have all been reassured that for most of our governments, human life matters more than…
Mindspace
"Don't be gay"
2 months ago
I grew up in Lady Frere in the Eastern Cape. There were almost no gay people in my space. The closest I ever came to gay people was seeing Senzo and Jason on TV. They were fictional characters in the popular soapie Generations. I was in a very conservative space, albeit a loving space. I…