(Nzaliseko is sitting on a chair near the coffee table while his three elders from Magqabi village are relaxing on the chair near the television.)

Nzaliseko: My elders, I called you from Magqabi village to my house because I need you as the head of the Ngcengane clan.

Mdyarho: You did something that is very important. When other young people see us in the village, they see old people who don’t have any hope in life. They think that we are stressing because we know the inevitable truth that we will die soon. The youth of today only give respect to older people who are successful financially and agriculturally.

Nzaliseko: I treat everybody equally, whether they are poor or rich.

Mathambo: We heard that you suffered from a seizure disease for many months.

Nzaliseko: I did suffer from a seizure disease but now I’m feeling better.

Mdyarho: When I heard that you suffered from a seizure disease, I thought that I would never see you again because you would be scared of anything that had to do with Magqabi village. Most of the time, traditional healers and prophets always blame witchcraft from other villages as the reason people suffer from seizure diseases.

Nzaliseko: I was full of hatred, but I went to a traditional healer who told me she woudn’t tell me who sent their leprechauns and evil spirits to destroy me. She cleansed me with African medicine that chased the leprechauns and evil spirits away forever.

Mngxabalazi: That is good news, especially since you no longer suffer from this disease.

Nzaliseko: I feel healthy and strong.

Mngxabalazi: I heard that you have a small child. Where is the child and his mother?

Nzaliseko: I had a problem with the mother of my child. When I wanted to send money to my mother, she would get angry and not allow me to help her. She always told me that my siblings are also working, so there is no need to for me to be the only person who cares about my mother.

Mngxabalazi: The girls of today don’t think about the parents of their husbands.

Nzaliseko: The mother of my child only cared about her parents. She always took all the money that we saved and sent it to her parents.

Mdyarho: The concubines always work for their families only.

Nzaliseko: Because of these problems, I decided to leave her, but I will support my child every month. I called you as my elders to help me negotiate wedding gifts for the daughter of the traditional healer, whom I made pregnant.

Mdyarho: You got the daughter of the traditional healer pregnant?

Nzaliseko: Yes, and it’s not a mistake. I don’t want to lose the girl. I don’t want to pay the damages to the girl’s family for getting her pregnant before marriage because I want to marry her as quickly as I can.

Mdyarho: I think you are doing something very important. I understand your reasons for chasing the mother of your first child away. Other children who were raised by single parents in our village married girls who separated from their families, and some even abandoned their villages and go and build big houses in the villages of their wives.

Nzaliseko: I heard about those guys who did those things in our village. I also heard that their usually suspected that some of their husband’s family members, especially the old ones, practice witchcraft.

Mngxabalazi: Those things are very painful because they divide families forever.

Nzaliseko: Tomorrow, I want to organise transport that will take you to the township where the girl lives. I will also give you R10 000 to go and negotiate with that family.

Mngxabalazi: Won’t you also negotiate with cows?

Nzaliseko: Cows are very expensive in Cape Town. We, as black people, are still losing a lot of our livestock because they can’t adapt when they move to different kinds of areas. I can give you a clear example. I might buy ten cows in Phalala village, in Ciskei, and bring them to Magqabi village, in Transkei, but after three days, the cows will die.

Mngxabalazi: I forgot about these things.

Nzaliseko: I will also go with you, but I won’t go inside the house.

Mdyarho: We will do everything we can to make you happy.

Nzaliseko: I want to make sure that after two weeks, I will be having a white wedding. After the family and the girl accept my wishes, I think you must tell them that they must organise a reverend who will tie our knot.

Mngxabalazi: It’s fine Nzaliseko. We will do everything you want us to, to make you happy.

Tell us: How do you think the lobola negotiations will go?