I wish I could tell you that I’m not okay,
It’s not the toothaches & stomachaches
I always hide behind, it’s bigger than that,
You see the scars on my wrist, they’re the reflection of
My pain, the teller of my misery & the healer of my soul.
I want to scream out for help, but I’m numb and rather dumb.
forward or backwards? I too do not know where this road is headed to.
I feel darkness hovering over me & settling around me.
Can people see it? I wonder. Can my friends feel it? still I wonder.
It never really likes school, everytime I enter the school gates I feel it melting away
And I see it waving sadly. Everytime I try to laugh,
it peeps through the window & waves sadly at me.
At home, we share a bed, bowl, chair & a couch in the living room.
My family doesn’t seem to see it but I do. I feel it I feel it’s presence everyday.
To be honest I’d feel empty without it, it has become a part of my life.
“Stop talking alone” they say, They clearly can’t see my lovely friend who keeps telling me
To go to bed, cry my lungs out & cut my wrist to ease the pain.
When I start smiling it strangles me & suffocates me.
I feel it’s breath over me, smelling of anger & aggression.
I am never happy for my friend never really wants me to be.