How am I supposed to survive in this world? Literally everywhere I go, people tease me. They mock me.
People hate gay people.
There, I said it.
You’ll argue. You’ll say, ‘Oh my friend is gay and we accept him.’ Well congratulations.
For most of us, it’s hell. OK? Hell.
Hell, hell, hell!
I’ve been beaten up more times than I can count. And each time, it chips away at my confidence. But I deserve to live. I know I do.
Auntie Blessing says I am smart, funny, talented, and a good-hearted person.
And I know I am.
So tell me – do you think a good-hearted person, who is smart and talented, should be hated, hit, spat on, ridiculed, threatened and beaten up?
Ask yourself this question. Look deep into your soul.
I knew I was gay when I was a laaitie, Diary. Aunt Blessing dropped me off at Cardies when she was at the Shoprite getting groceries for the week.
I was looking through the posters and saw one of a guy with his shirt off. He was beautiful. His eyes were blue and he had stubble.
I didn’t know what I was feeling. It wasn’t a sexual feeling. I was too young to even know what sex really was. I just felt …
Like, it was a magnet to my eyes. I stared at this poster for about three minutes without looking away. I didn’t know why, and I didn’t know what I was feeling, I just knew I felt…
You might think that is weird Diary, and I don’t give a damn.
It’s natural. I was born this way. If you are born a certain way, people shouldn’t insult you for it.
And you know what? For someone who society doesn’t like, I’m a very cheerful dude. I have like 10 million female friends. I blog. I do Talisa’s make-up (she’s my cousin).
I know it’s girly to like such things, but who cares? What’s wrong with girly?
WTF, world, let me live. How does me doing my cousin’s make-up affect you in, like, any way at all?! Admit it, it doesn’t. Geez. I’m so angry right now.
I got in a fight with Songezo and that little rat Mdu today. They told me to give them my satchel and money.
I said no.
They said that a little moffie should obey real men.
I said, “You’re not real men. You’re pigs. Are pigs men? No.”
This made them so angry they went crazy.
They kicked me, strangled me, spat on me, I thought they might actually kill me. And when I say kill, I mean it. I have heard of men killing gay guys, and gay women.
Like I say – we’re endangered. You don’t know what it’s like.
But someone stood up for me. You won’t even believe who. I’m angry, but as I write this, I’m starting to grin. The boy who came to my rescue? The hunk who beat my oppressors down like Brad Pitt in Troy, basically whupping them till they ran off like dogs?
None other than my number one crush, David. How’s that for a twist in the tale?
It was so cool.
I could walk, actually; it was just my head that was bloody. He helped wipe away the blood with some tissue paper and water from his water bottle.
He was so … awesome about it. He didn’t treat me like other straight guys treat me – like a freak, like some kind of diseased person you can catch gayness from lol.
Then he was like, ‘Can you walk?’
And I was like, ‘I think so?”
And he helped me get up and he was literally so strong and heroic about it.
He’s really handsome. Out of ten, he’s like a ten point five, and I’m not even kidding.
Tell us: If you are not gay, do you like a person of the same sex praising you for how you look? Is this different for guys admiring guys, and females admiring females?