I’ve lived in the village my whole life. I roamed in these streets and valleys of this village, the wilderness, the nature open to us. How a child who grew in the city would talk of breathing those streets, the lights, and parks of his neighborhood. How his neighbor’s home wrote a book about colonisation because they are white and his home wrote a book about democracy because they are white. That’s why I’d write a book about myself growing in a village and the future of nowadays and these children that I once was, that I am, to strive for a better future, a future I belong in filled with decent humans and to educate them the principles they can use to survive.
I thought to myself as I was driving home:- Marry once, Marry your first love, have intimacy with only your first love, that’s life isn’t it? It needs to be enforced by law. Marriage, Marriage, Marriage!!!!
I made dinner and took a shower this time. I was so determined to never taking a bath again. I finished showering, then went to my bedroom to apply lotion. I sat on my bed moisturing my body with lotion to sooth my skin which is a bad rural habit, I might wet the bed or have the lotion on top of the bed and a knock came to the door so I quickly got dressed.
“Vuo, have you seen your car at the gate. You must get yourself an electric gate or solar gate?”, My mother got in the room.
“Mom, what happened?” I tried looking outside, while I was also paying attention to her.
“Your car is outside the yard, these giant cows might step on eat. I don’t know what Zhang feeds them.”, when she mentioned the cows I got astonished a little, who is Zhang again the owner of the shop.
“Gigantic cows! those cows! What about them?”, I exclaimed.
“Put the car inside the yard, you silly it’s not safe there” she repeated.
I walked outside to drag the heavy gate to park the car inside the yard, as I was dragging it I thought to myself, “Mom, knows those Gigantic cows in this village. There are cows in this village? It’s not a surbab village now? Lobola cows? I hated cows? “
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There were cows when I used to grow up here now cows were humans sometimes. Then I breathed in and out. Nature feel me in. Connect me to the spirits of nature, I meditated in the car and turned on the radio the news came and I listen to my speech.
I got out after a few minutes, locked the gate which was heavy again.
“Ma, this gate is really heavy”, I said to her as I walked in the kitchen, she was making coffee.
“You see now I even forgot the other reason I called you, why are you home early?”, my mother asked now concerned and sorry for shouting at me earlier.
“There was a protest today, but I handled it, you haven’t been listening to the radio it’s all over the new.” I said pouring a cup of coffee.
“News? I am growing new seeds and just made a bedding for them, I didn’t stay indoors much today” she said, proclaiming I should elaborate about the protest.
I said everything just when I was mentioning how marriage history would liviate this aggression of society to this future she said, “ now I remember why I came to check up on you, Heee Nonkwe is going to have abakhozi this weekend. Her uncle came here this morning to let us know.”
I was so astonished, I said, “ Nonkwe our cousin’s next to the shop? Wow, heee so what about Aunt Lizzy?”
My mother got furious with me, “ Lizzy, what does this have to do with Lizzy?”
I said, “ Hai Maa I mean Lizzy has children, she waited 30 years to get married while all our cousin sisters have kids now, everyone has a child one by one Maan ma. Aunt, Lizzy had 4, do you know her daughter might need funds for a inkciyo school, she is studying there now as a Queer and she’s not coping. I can’t have students who are there because of insecurities and family history that doesn’t get married. I need pure lesbians it’s my name there.”
“ Are you telling me that you think Nonkwe is the cause of this family generation to not marry? “ , My mother said confused.
I said, “ ma, I’m not saying Nonkwe is the cause. I’ve searched every history and realised if we had chiefs and kings even though Nonkwe’s family looks pour than Lizzy and our cousin sisters who grew in the city they are the ones close to royalty. If she used anything to be recognised of royalty, getting these bubble cousins of ours to be sluts who live in the city and have babies with unknown baby daddies then having a comeback to marry when they are all domed. That is a rural strategy here?”
“ If her royalty is respected like that by the ancestors, you should let it be. Look at you you grew in the village yourself what comeback do we have here we not even royal.” My mother said with tears in her eyes. I thought maybe Nonkwe is using something umthi to talk to God on my dreams. I should be happy for her, I am suppose to be happy for her but this thing of showing she is a princess-king like this had to stop but how, why she didn’t just get married in 1995 and leave everyone alone. The man she married must be wealthy to avenge people of that princess the ancestors must be mad. Is this colonisation true? I lived in this village for more than those 30 years I didn’t live in an urban home what wrong could I have done to my ancestors. Why they left some of us here to be villagers. I will just embrace this place and make it AMERICA for myself. That’s all I can do when financially I am not an urban person but my mind is.
I’d confidently say, “NDIZENZELE IDOLOPHU!!!”
I looked away drinking my cup of coffee. The room became silent, it started drizzling the curtains from the sliding door glass were open and the rain fell causing significence of peace, overwhelming peace inside the living room and remorse at the same time.
I placed both hands around my coffee staring on that big glass, the dogs running away from the rain, a small fleece blanket over my shoulders, wearing pyjamas and hoping for firewood fire from the chimney. It became more silent.
I went to bed after we ate dinner, my mom got the nerves to dish up the food I prepared I couldn’t tell her my visions. I didn’t wanted to eat so I ate anyways and went to bed.
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*How’s Vuo’s mom to you guys?”