Next morning the girl told me all the dances and crazy things I did at the party. It sounded like I was hearing a story about some reckless girl who only lived for fun. This was not me. She told me things I don’t remember doing and there was this headache I felt, accompanied by the need to puke. I felt like I would throw up…but then I wouldn’t.

“Babes, you should have seen yourself. You. Were. On. Fire!” She said.

I guess it made sense in a way. The liquor I consumed was the fuel to the little fire inside of me. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m very shy, but I believe that in every shy individual there’s always this  charasmatic and outgoing character inside of them. Mine was awakened by intoxication, and thank God I was too faded to be aware of my actions. It must have been so embarrassing, but according to the girl’s story it was so fun and mad crazy. Thank God no videos were taken.

I looked around my room as if I’d just woken up in a prison cell. “How did I get here?” I asked as I tapped my head.

“You passed out,” she told me. “I got Sbu and his gang to lift you up and get you home. We found your mom awake, then we returned for the after-party.”

The door opened and mama walked in with a mug of something hot and steamy. “A remedy for the hang over,” she said in a smile, handed me the mug. My mom’s drinking was only limited to wines, ciders and champagnes. She’d known how to make the remedy because of my father. That one, he would drink more booze than water that’s why his liver failed him at forty six and it stopped working. He passed away.

I sipped the lemon liquid, burned my tongue a little and hissed.  

“Don’t rush. It’s still hot. Allow it to get warm first,” mama said. She looked at me and the girl then said, “your friend here Kamo told me how much fun you had last night.”

I was surprised at the word friend so I looked at the girl, Kamo, to see any sign from her which would indicate that mom was exaggerating. There was non. She just smiled at me. I smiled back. That is how my association with her began. Even now as I’m typing this I still don’t know what made her to approach me that night at the party and offer me drinks. All I know is that my social skills got unlocked. I was now able to indulge myself with others and engage in chats, no matter how idle they were. I had to find a way of getting over the wall of my meek petsonality. In doing so, I found a life more broader than the one I had grown accustomed to. Mama was right. I needed to mix myself with others, try new things, explore new territories, get a break from this drab of life which mostly consisted of library visitations, fiction writing and reading, academic studying and all the other things which kept me in a quiet state of living.”Get off your comfort zone. There’s more to life,” that was my mom’s voice in these thoughts of realization.

For the first time in a long time I felt a sense of belonging whenever I was with Kamo and her friends. I wished to be like Kamo. She was such a free spirit that one. Whereas I was mostly restricted by fear and diffidence, Kamo walked like the world belongs to her. I don’t remember seeing her stopping herself from doing whatever it was she felt like doing because of what people will say. Her super power: the highest level of confidence. Days went by, her friends became my friends. That led to a lot of changes.

These girls, my new friends and Kamo, never pointed a gun to my head and threatened to pull the trigger if I didn’t smoke with them. When weed and hookahs were smoked, I’d smoke too. They never said they’ll stop being friends with me If I don’t go out with them. So at whatever club, party or event they went to, I was there with them.

And by then I wasn’t attending extra classes anymore. I didn’t need them. I was already passing. Okay, my marks dwindled a bit but rest assured I’d still score way above the pass mark. My results changed from 80’s and 90’s to 70 somethings, no 60’s. Mama had begun to look at my report card with eyes of suspicion but she never said anything.