I spent my night tossing and turning thinking about Sthembiso, after 5 pillow slaps and several sighs I kicked off the blanket and got out of the bed. It was only 3:12 a.m and my mind was already telling me to go to the swimming pool.

I slipped out of my pyjamas and put on my bathing suit and went outside to the pool.

It was quiet outside, too still. Like the earth was asleep too, the moon was shining bright. It was big as if I could reach out and touch it.

I dipped one foot inside the pool, the water was not too cold making me get inside fully. I closed my eyes while I floated on the water. My mind was finally quiet, I was not thinking about anything but the quietness of the night.

I didn’t know how long I was in the pool but when my eyes cracked open I saw Sthembiso sitting a little further away near the garden looking at me.

His eyes burned a hole on my body, even in darkness I could see his eyes trained on me. It was amazing how I didn’t hear him come out.

I slowly got out of the pool and could feel his eyes following me. I now felt shy and exposed wanting to cover my body but I stupidly didn’t bring a towel with me.

I thought that whatever I was feeling for Sthembiso was all in my head and that it was now all gone but looking at Sthembiso slowly walking up to me, I could feel my knees buckling up, I ignored my brain yelling at me that Sthembiso was my bodyguard and that he was to remain only my bodyguard.

He handed me a towel but his eyes never left my body, they rested a second too long. I could be wrong but I knew that he also felt the same energy that I was feeling.

I wanted him to pull me to him and kiss me, I often wondered how a kiss with him would be like but instead Sthembiso cleared his throat and nodded his head “Go to bed Makukhanye.” my name dripped at his lips like honey dripping on pancakes.

He said four words and my heart skipped a beat, they were four lousy words but they knocked the air right out of my chest.

I peeled my eyes away from him and followed the command. I didn’t turn around to look back at him and see if he was looking at me, I was too scared to look around because I wouldn’t know how to act if I found him still looking at me.