With a heavy heart I sit on the grounds of my heart ready to let the heaviness of my pain flow out of me like a river.
It is with a heavy heart that I come today, not knowing what to tell my soul. That I come from the wilderness of the world and bitterness of life and I come bearing with me thorns and wounds.
I sit as I wait, as I wait yet for another lashing, another scar, another story to tell
But how do I tell my soul, how do I tell the guard of my being that I come not with sweet words and beautiful flowers but with bitterness and tears.
How do I tell the one who stitches my wounds, the one who wipes my tears and the one who plasters the walls of my insides when they come crashing down
How do I tell her that another flower was yet tarnished from her garden
That the petals were picked and the stem was broken
How do I paint the picture of how the roots were plucked out from the deepest of dirt
How do I say it , how do I ask for forgiveness, for yet another seed to plant on the deepest side of the garden, one that will grow and bear many more oh dear old friend, how do I plead once more.
Allow me to bother you once more
Allow me to pick from you yet another seed
To give you a promise once more, allow me to whisper sweet nothings in your precious ears
Allow me to live, to find the one with whom my soul embides
Allow me to find my one the one who’s garden is left of nothing but dirt, soil waiting for fertilization
One who’s seeds have been scattered over the Rocky sands, one who’s hope was no more
Allow me to plant the seed of home, to watch as it grows to bear more
Allow me to be at home