To Ease the pain

Why am I doing this?
I’m supposed to be hurting right now.
I am not ready to forget
There is nothing I enjoy more than crying, it became my hobby
I just got used to it.
It is fun to hear my heart breaking
Those cracks in my heart keep me moving
I do not cry to feel any better or to ease the pain
I cry because I cannot say how broken my spirit is.
I don’t know how to heal this heart
It need to be vaccinated
I cannot find a vaccine anywhere
I travelled North, South but I came with nothing.
Oh! By the way…
A special thank you to my brain
For overthinking
And for letting my mind to be the home for mental illnesses
Nothing makes me feel good like crying
Ain’t crazy at all.