Suicide is not a solution they say!
Suicide is not an answer.
It’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Suicidal people are selfish they say.
What about the people who are staying behind?
They should think about their loved ones.
The pain they are going to feel.
The questions they are going to ask themselves!
And the most painful thing is the regrets!
But what about the pain we are feeling everyday!?
Waking up every morning with sharp body pains.
After I wrestled with the voices in my head last night!
Then… Oh then!
I have to put a smile on my face & pretend that everything’s fine.
While I’m falling apart, my heart is bleeding!
Where are the people who love and care about me?
Where are they when I face these demons every night?
Where are they when these demons are strangling me?
Until I nearly lose my breath?
Where are they when I cry myself to sleep?
With no words to explain what’s going on with me?
When I break down behind a closed door and cry!?
Sometimes…
I don’t even understand what’s going on.
The voices in my head are driving me crazy.
They say you should be strong.
They’re laughing & gossipping when you’re losing weight,
because of depression and anxiety.
You can’t trust anyone.
You can’t talk to them about your issues.
I called the prophet last year just to talk to him,
I just wanted him to pray for me.
He said that he would come, guess what?
I’m still waiting.
No one care as long as you look fine to them.
They say that you are fine.
When you kill yourself they have a lot to say.
They’ll be like “oh I didn’t know that he had problems”.
“Oh, how could he/she do this to us?”
But no one saw the tears in your eyes.
No one saw the change in your behaviour!
And the prophet?
Oh only now,
he remembers that you once asked to see him.
Life!
I know that everyone has their own problems.
But depression and anxiety are just something else.
Most people don’t want to die!
They just want the pain to stop!
Those with depression & anxiety act strong before people.
But nobody knows what they are going through at night.
Sometimes we can’t even sleep.
Overthinking, depression, anxiety, self-doubt, grief.
And broken heart syndrome is killing us slowly but surely.
What is the perfect solution?
What is the perfect answer?