Sadness, bereavement or lamentation;
The most terrible state of humanity survival,
War between soul, mind and heart;
Thorn in my skin, tumor in my brain;
What should be done?

All things make no sense,
Food, bath, sleep, laughter is monster;
Consternation, lost, incompetent is outrageous;
Feeling of loneliness could my heart;
As lost as I may be, I glided like headless chicken;
My sense of reasoning becomes void;
Depraved as much as it may be.

I may be not wise, but i see the bigger picture;
Losing my wife is as terrible as the flood;
I lost the sense of reasoning,
As if my mind is buried with her, down deep beneath;
My soul breaks in pieces, everything become meaningless;
She is truly gone; but why now?
Living lie, without you reality is twisted.

The day was Thursday, as my mind serves me well;
Doing my duty, my mind and whole of me occupied;
Not thinking about the next call,
Phone ring: “come quickly, things are bad!!!”
Beholding lifeless body, my soul torn apart;
My mind was clouded by unknown darkness,
She is truly gone; my beloved wife is dead.

But God why? Why me?
At this young age, we just started family;
The family I wanted the rest of my life,
Why?…….why?…….why?……
I just started the family I never had;
I grew up without father and mother,
It was a good opportunity to have family of my own,
But really now? What happened?
I will be referred as widower,
It never came to my mind,
That history will repeat itself.

I now have to live without you,
Our children miss you so much daily,
I have to answer questions,
Will our mother come back again?
Will she live again? We miss her;
What of mother is she?
Dying and leaving her children without mother,
Are you going to die too?
Are you going to leave us she did?

More questions without answers,
What should I do now?
Living clueless daily, as mockery as it may look;
I ask God strength every moment,
To push and to pull through,
I live for now, no plan for future;
I saw plans die in front of me.

I now start to realize, that’s true I am alone;
I am both mother and father to my kids;
Sometimes people think I am crazy,
Others are scared for their wives,
They told their wife not to talk with me,
Either I will still their wives, or they will have bad luck.

All this, I have accepted, I am an island;
My friends are my children; they are everything to me;
They are my strength and my motivation;
For them I live.