I feel like giving up
But then I say “it’s not the time”
Keep still, catch the ball
Don’t let it fall
There’s a hole on my court, “patch it” they say
The more I keep holding on, the pole is falling
My burdens can’t be carried
But then I pull the rope
I remember they’ll say “she’s weak”
I wish I wasn’t “she”, but the shoe fits perfectly
My crown is falling, they thought I can hold it up
Keep your head up but mind your step
I can’t, at times my feet can’t carry me
I lose balance even with the wall beside me
My eyes, they’re swollen
Wipe those tears “society” who else?
When did it start
It’s a wound I’ve healing and healing and healing through the pains, the fake smiles
The betrayals, the deceits
The lies and broken promises
The hate from the one you share blood with
Hate from the one you seek support from when the birther is away
“Grow up” she said
I’m young, she’s old
It’s all confusing, why can’t she grow up?
A troubled child with a broken piece of bottle in her hand
It shall serve the purpose, a shift from reality
Where pain must be felt
The ball will fall sooner or later
At anytime
I let it fall, I can’t keep on catching, bouncing and wiping my tears
See me, see my tears
Watch them as they fall
My neck on the rope, my legs hanging
Yes I’m weak “I concluded”
It is not the pain that keeps me in pain
It’s the beings that stick in the sword
A reflection hidden from me
The smile, in reality is the opposite
Watch her as she drifts, what happened?
You don’t belong, “I know”
Let it rain, I’m not ready but I’m surely letting my hands slip from this mountain
It’s purpose, for it to carry me
Instead I’m carrying it, it’s the burden I hide
Tears I wipe, the tissues tear down
They’re tired of hiding my pain, my insecurities and mistakes
Let them see the broken me, as my coffin descends multiple feet under
Step on me, I was trash already
I am weak, I cannot stand on my feet
Let alone stand up for myself