As I step onto the doormat
Thousands of memories indulge my brain
I feel dizzy for a moment as I cannot handle the heat,
The pressure
There I am standing,
Looking at the big white door
Nothing extraordinary about the door
Other than that it looks almost 50 years old
Yep! the wood is strong and the doorknob
Is made out of steel, handmade steel
I’m still standing at the doorstep
I attempt to knock but my hand just won’t do it
I’m about to knock, again with determination this time
But memories flash for the second time and I decide
I’m not going to knock
So I step back to leave and a sound disturbs
My thoughts
And when I turn to look
I feel a little bit of dryness in my throat
It’s my mom
Thank goodness she’s alive, she invites me in
I am happy and relieved
But what about my pain?
Should I ruin this moment?
Or go with the flow
Like take things slow?
I don’t know
I guess I’ll see when I get to that road.