Depression is real

It is a serious mental illness

I never thought that one day I would wake up and be a victim of this illness

If I am not sad

I am still not happy

I am just empty

I can smile all day and still be broken inside

I can laugh like there is no tomorrow

But deep down, all I want to do is scream and cry out loud

At all times, you are forced to wear a happy mask

Because that is what everyone wants to see, right?

Where else I am dying a slow, painful death inside.

One-minute memories hit you so hard you just want to be left alone

So, you could break down and cry

You want to sleep off all these emotions that are killing you

Yet you can’t because your mind is battling with your heart

Often, I feel like I am losing my mind

I feel the need to take that blade and slit my wrist

Just to end all these emotions that are building inside me

Nothing in life seems to be fine

Life at home is hell

Life with friends is even worse

All you want is to distance yourself from everyone and everything

All you want is to be a loner

I hear people say it’s easy to talk to someone about your pain

But only if they knew how hard it is to utter even a single word from my mouth

Without thinking that they will judge me or even consider me as just desperately seeking attention

I instead bottle up my pain and emotions

Wear my happy mask at all time

So that they do not notice that I am hurting