Depression is real
It is a serious mental illness
I never thought that one day I would wake up and be a victim of this illness
If I am not sad
I am still not happy
I am just empty
I can smile all day and still be broken inside
I can laugh like there is no tomorrow
But deep down, all I want to do is scream and cry out loud
At all times, you are forced to wear a happy mask
Because that is what everyone wants to see, right?
Where else I am dying a slow, painful death inside.
One-minute memories hit you so hard you just want to be left alone
So, you could break down and cry
You want to sleep off all these emotions that are killing you
Yet you can’t because your mind is battling with your heart
Often, I feel like I am losing my mind
I feel the need to take that blade and slit my wrist
Just to end all these emotions that are building inside me
Nothing in life seems to be fine
Life at home is hell
Life with friends is even worse
All you want is to distance yourself from everyone and everything
All you want is to be a loner
I hear people say it’s easy to talk to someone about your pain
But only if they knew how hard it is to utter even a single word from my mouth
Without thinking that they will judge me or even consider me as just desperately seeking attention
I instead bottle up my pain and emotions
Wear my happy mask at all time
So that they do not notice that I am hurting