I want to regain my strength, the woman power that I had. After losing people that I love.Firstly I lost my dad because my parents are divorced and I live with my mom. My dad doesn’t care about us at all , he supports us(financially) whenever he feel like it. I feel like he doesn’t exist in my life like ever and in my heart I have learnt that with one parent I’ll make it. A mother will never abandon her children .

Secondly I lost my grandmother when I was doing grade 11, it was June 2022 . When they(hospital) called to say that she was no more everyone cried excluding me I just used my phone as a distraction.Days went by and we buried her but I didn’t go to the graveside to say goodbye I just remained at home, I was scared to go and wearing skirts and dresses bores though. The thought of what happened the last time I went to the graveyard was on my mind: The last time I went to the graveyard I was with my father’s family to do ancestral rituals, my father forced my siblings and I to do those rituals, I don’t even believe in them and at my mother’s family they are Christians and my grandfather is a pastor. After the ritual that day I couldn’t sleep I felt a huge connection between the ancestors and I, I had nightmares, that’s why I don’t go to the graveyard but I guess I just have to give it time. The rituals did not work everything started falling apart.

After the burial, families were chilling and doing the after tears thing I went outside to chill with my cousins but I just kept quiet I couldn’t believe that she was no more. My cousin asked why I was so quiet but I just said I don’t have much to say. Later I went to my room to take a nap, then two hours later I went to take a bath that’s when tears started going down my cheeks, I just couldn’t believe that she was gone, she was the sweetest. I have two left(one from mom’s side and one from dad’s side). My other Grandmother(from my mother’s side)is also sweet and loving but from my father’s side she doesn’t care about us at a all, she likes pretending. I’ve accepted that my Granny is gone and she was old by the way even though I wanted to do so much for her . Now I know that we can plan but God decides.

keep on commenting guys and liking you keep me going. I write my own experiences to find peace and to be strong. I hope my experiences motivate people and teach people to be strong In tough situations