I almost lost myself over someone who didn’t even care about me. I’m so grateful that I could go out before I completely lost myself. It wasn’t easy to let go because I loved that man. I cared for him. I loved him so dearly – so much that it took me a long time to realise that alusekho uthando apha.

I didn’t know that one day I’d tell this story. 

I didn’t know that loving someone could feel like a sin. I didn’t know loving someone could make you feel like a fool. I didn’t know. 

It’s so stupid that I didn’t leave immediately after realising that kudlalwa Ngam apha. 

What I’ve learned from this is If you have to work hard to get your partner’s attention, that’s the first sign for you to get out of that hole while it’s still easy to go out. Secondly, if your partner doesn’t put as much effort as you do towards making your relationship work, consider leaving that relationship. When you’re constantly the one who has to take all the wrongs within the relationship, get out of that shit. That person is not in a relationship with you, akakuthandi!

Such behaviour from your partner are indicators (red flags) for you to leave and save yourself from being emotionally bruised and played.