Where Do Broken Men Go? – Act 3, Scene 1

Two months later on a Saturday morning at the coffee shop.

KEVIN: (shaking Kobus’s hand) Thank you for not judging me in my moments of weakness, and for holding me accountable for my own role in the mess I find myself in.

KOBUS: Listen, I wouldn’t have been able to help you if you were not willing to reach out and ask for help. I’m proud of you. (tightens the handshake and pulls Kevin in for a shoulder hug)

KEVIN: I don’t know what would’ve happened that night if you hadn’t shown up. You know, most of my life I’ve been everyone’s dumping ground, and when I got married I was determined to put a stop to that. I also wanted my son to grow up to be tougher than me, like that day in the park, but I’ve been going about it the wrong way. That day at the park was my wake-up call.

KOBUS: I was only a mirror to remind you of what you already know; you want to be a better father to your son and not repeat the same mistakes your pa made with you.

KEVIN: True, but I’ve been meaning to ask you, how did my wife get your number in the first place? (looks suspicious)

KOBUS: (laughs) Relax! Remember that card I gave you in the park the day we met?

KEVIN: Ja? (looks confused)

KOBUS: Let’s just say women always remember to check our pockets before doing yet another load of washing. (smiles)

(They both laugh.)

KOBUS: You know, when my marriage fell apart six years ago, I was hell-bent on hurting my ex-wife the same way she hurt me. I didn’t even realise that I was using my own daughter as a pawn by telling her that her mother didn’t love her and that’s why she was trying separate us. Brother’s Keeper opened my eyes to the seeds of division I was sowing between myself and Sofia, my daughter.

(Kevin listens intently.)

KOBUS: It’s like I said to you before, if we are not mindful of our own toxic behaviour, we run the risk of traumatising a whole new generation. I had to learn to identify the triggers and counter them in a meaningful healthy way. Each of us has the opportunity to learn how to break this vicious cycle.

KEVIN: True dat! So what was the turning point for you?

KOBUS: Ja nee, I guess it was when I started to internalise what the Family Advocate’s Office once said to us during a mediation: what is in the best interests of Sofia? And also, how will my actions, decisions, impact our relationship in future?

KEVIN: Hmm! (slowly nods)

KOBUS: Kom, we better go in before they start.

Tell us: How do you process your thoughts and feelings? Do you like to talk about them, think about them, write about them, or do something completely different?

20 Responses

Support group is very helpful to every person who passed some traumatic crisis

Moyahabo Thoka · a year ago

Hey guys, if any of you are interested in the FUNNY STORY COMPETITION for inspiration maybe even preparation, read HLAZMENT. its available here on fundza. It tells hilarious embarrassing moments that will sure tickle your tummy.

Karabo Kapa · a year ago

Support group is very goid

Segomotso Benjamin Molekane · a year ago

I process my thoughts by thinking about them and writing them down

Faith Samou · a year ago

Being alone and try to digest wat ever that is killing me inside. Then go talk to someone whom I trust

Zanele Mantame · a year ago

2writing thm on a dairy or book as if story nor tell smbody who u trust it helpful

Tselalehu reneiloe Makua · a year ago

Create something in your mind to tell yourself 😊 it's going to be all right Do something completely different 👌

Thato Motlhabane · a year ago

I usually write things down then talk about them with my sister or cousin ,then end up making jokes about them as times goes on...But I've realized that talking to someone helps so much as you get peace of mind and moving on so easily

Manoko Ledwaba · a year ago

At first I used to bottled things up,tried the method of writing things that hurt me so much then after few days I'll burn that paper...Now I talk to my sister or cousin then end up joking about my problems.After few days I feel like I've never been stressed..

I just want to be away from people. By myself , me and mother nature. Cause the colour green of trees and the blue of the sky just calms me down. I would then talk to myself,do a breathing exercise and go face reality

Trunishca · a year ago

Write them down after that just tear the paper

precious Kunene · a year ago

I pray normally I take time talk to god cry let it out and sleep I used to write but hey sometimes pain is unbearable

Zanele Mathonsi · a year ago

I talk them out loud and pray them to God.

Sandile · a year ago

I really like to just read, especially when uhm on a bad space. I don't talk about my emotions

Kedibone Montsho · a year ago

I just write it down .

Evah Ngobeni · a year ago

i process my feelings through not talking about them...I am not really an open person

Nombuso Blose · a year ago

I think about them, I can't express my feelings

Thembi Nkosi · a year ago

I write them down.

Phumza Funo · a year ago

I just think about them then I cry until I fall asleep 😊😊

Feziwe Nzima · a year ago

I process about them when I'm sitting alone. Since I'm a writer I prefer to write about them.

Letlhogonolo Kotsedi · a year ago

Where Do Broken Men Go? - Act 3, Scene 1