Growing Up

I’ve always wanted to do something great, something that would be remembered by others. When I was a very young girl I knew that I wanted to help people who were suffering. I wanted to give love where there was sadness. I wanted to offer hope where there was despair. I just had no idea how I would achieve this.

I grew up in a small farming community and ours was the only English family amongst all the Afrikaans farmers. So I was the only English-speaking learner in my small primary school. I remember very clearly how all I longed for was to escape and be part of the glamorous ‘big city’ somewhere beyond the koppies of the North West Province.

However, I was always very aware and ever-thankful that I had a close and loving family. My parents raised my younger brother and me in a loving and open-minded way. They taught us about God from a young age and I have loved the Lord ever since. But I was often filled with sadness, because at school I felt it was so important for me to be popular and to be accepted. I was always pushed aside and never really fitted in with the rest of the girls. Looking back, I suppose it was due to our culture difference. As I got older I realised that the racial issues in our country go much further than just being based on colour.

In high school everything changed. I went to a dual-medium school and was part of the English group – and I suddenly found myself not only fitting in, but also becoming popular. Here it was OK to be different and I could finally be myself, accepted for the arty girl that I was. With popularity, however, came a lot of peer pressure to try and maintain that reputation. I just had to go to parties and I had to join in with drinking and having boyfriends. Again, I was lucky that I went to a relatively small and protected school, so the partying and being ‘naughty’ was not half as bad as what was happening in the big cities.

I was always very curious and I never wanted to miss any fun – and so I made many decisions that I knew were wrong. From everything my parents and my faith had taught me, I was aware every time I was getting involved with the wrong things. I’ll never forget the day when the SAPD came to our school to give us a lecture about drugs. I remember thinking: “Wow, that sounds kinda cool! I really hope that I never get faced with drugs, because I know that my curiosity will get the better of me and then I won’t be able to say no. Then I will probably end up becoming a drug addict.”

I never imagined just how true those thoughts would someday be…

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Tell us what you think: What your peers are doing often affects your choices. What is difficult about wanting to fit in with what your friends are doing?