The Hardest Part

You’d think that the difficult part would be going through drug addiction hell.

I found out that getting clean and staying clean was in fact the hardest thing ever. I cannot lie and say that it’s easy. There are always consequences for our actions and a great price to pay. In my case I had to sacrifice everything that I loved and thought was good in my life. I had to give up Seth and I had to give up my job. At first I also felt pain that I had to leave Joburg, but later felt relieved to be free from that city.

I also had to give up clubbing, dancing and house music. Give up everything that was a trigger, stirring up that desire to chop a line and go to that place where nothing mattered and responsibilities no longer existed.

For a very long time it was difficult to stay away from certain places and people and to give up any form of substance. Instead, I filled my time by getting involved in church life, attending every prayer meeting and Bible study and home group that I could. I spent as much time as I had reading the Bible and praying.

My parents were also one of the reasons I managed to get clean and start living a normal life again. The mere fact that I could go home to them, knowing that they would not condemn and reject me, was my saving grace. I learned then that the most important thing one needs to get away from addiction is to have a strong support system.

I am now thirty years old and I have been clean for four and half years. It is my hope that through my story I can reach out to others. To give them hope that there is a way out! I spent many days dreading that I might never ever be free from my addiction, but here I am today, living proof that as long as your spirit fights and as long as you really want to be free, then you can have salvation! It is never too late to try and to walk away from that messed-up life.

I am really nobody special. I am a very down to earth and ordinary woman. I grew up in a loving, Christian home and I had no reason to end up in dark side streets waiting for drugs. It can happen to anyone. Addiction is so tricky and subtle. My addiction came from pure curiosity and the eventual arrogance of thinking that I could always stay in control of my drug use. Before I knew it, it had swallowed me alive and nearly killed me.

I pray that people become educated about drugs, and know the symptoms in order to help a loved one who may be in trouble. It is also a desire of mine to encourage parents to have an understanding of addiction, so that if their child comes to them for help, that they will not be too afraid to give it. Parents may be the only ones the addicted child can go to for help.

The best thing, of course, is to make a good decision from the start: never give in to any peer pressure or to your own curiosity. Choose LIFE!


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