Being as brave as I was when on any drugs, I’d called this pretty boy over to where I sat on a bench in the courtyard of Nirvana. I boldly told him to sit by me, and that he had the most amazing eyes I’d ever seen. By some miracle he didn’t run away! Drugs have the tendency to give you ‘verbal diarrhoea’, so that night I kept Seth by my side by talking non-stop. Later on I went home with him and two of his friends and we spent the entire Sunday on the lawn in the sun, chatting and snorting copious amounts of kat.

Seth seemed to be just as captured by me, and we started seeing each other every day of the week and all weekend long. From the very beginning I told him of my past addiction and the fact that I didn’t particularly want to continue this life of clubbing constantly. He agreed that it was unhealthy and he claimed to also have a relationship with God. So we made a promise to stop the clubbing.

A few weeks after we’d met it was the December holidays and many of us had some leave. Because it was the festive season, and because we didn’t have to go to work, we spent many of those days snorting a few grams of kat and just chilling out at home. We felt rather proud of ourselves for not wasting our time in the clubs anymore.

When I think back, it’s crazy how I tried to fool myself. Just because we were not physically at a club didn’t mean we were any better off. Snorting grams and grams of kat, day after day, was actually much worse.

But there you go – I was blinded by what I thought was true love – yet again! I was such a sucker for a pretty boy. I thought Seth was my hero. Even though I noticed many flaws very early in our relationship, I was just too grateful that such a hot guy was even remotely interested in me – simple, slightly crazy, me! His good looks and seemingly good status in life made me block out any of his faults. So to me he was perfect!

25 January 2006

You have set a fire alight in my soul,
A flame that was put out by so many.
Slowly, a glimmer of ember began to glow,
And in a short month has risen in a blaze!

A look alone brings me to my knees,
Words so touching, I am weak, powerless.
Small gestures of caring leave me in awe,
Your displays of love have me questioning…

Can I deserve this, dare I accept it?
As you are more than I ever imagined.
The reality of a little girl’s dream,
Of a prince on a white horse, a knight in shining armour!

The way in which we glide over obstacles,
Leave the old behind and step forward.
The profound intimacy and close friendship,
I am elated, overwhelmed, blessed beyond measure!


Tell us what you think: What is dangerous about being in a relationship if either of you are taking drugs?