Pepsi tried to recall all she knew about HIV and AIDS. It was an STD, yes. But also passed on commonly from mother to child. It was also often fatal, in the end.

“Then that means … we both have it too?”

“Not exactly,” Zinhle said. “Thank God, you were spared. I refused to lose you so I came to the city in search of a cure. I did all that I could to make sure it wasn’t passed to you. Treatments, medicines, extra vigilance. It was the happiest day of my life when you were born and you tested negative.”

Pepsi sighed in both utter relief and gratefulness.

“You saved my life … Mama.”

Zinhle couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.

And by doing so, I destroyed my own, Zinhle thought.

“Why were you so scared to tell me?” Pepsi asked.

Zinhle wiped away her tears. It was now or never.

Gathering every ounce of courage she had, Zinhle took a deep breath and pushed up the sleeves covering her arms.

Pepsi gasped but didn’t say anything. She couldn’t say anything as she was so stunned. Next, Zinhle lifted her fringe of braids away from her forehead.

Then she said, “And I use special concealing, masking make-up on my face.”

“Oh, my God!” Pepsi exclaimed. “What happened?”

Zinhle thought back to that faithful time in her life when she was a young, ignorant girl who had just discovered she was pregnant. Fredrick, the father of her unborn child, took her in. However he had become extremely ill and she had to take care of him.

Fredrick died a few short months later; right before she was due to give birth.

Gog’ Mary refused to let Zinhle come back home. Everyone in the village thought HIV was contagious, and didn’t want to breathe the same air as the infected. Zinhle was treated like an outcast; no-one wanted to be near her. She had no place to go.

She didn’t confirm it, but everyone knew that Zinhle had the virus too.

Her clock was ticking close to an end; a dead girl walking, she thought.

She had heard horror stories about HIV/AIDS but had never believed them, or rather, never believed it could happen to her, or Fredrick. How could it? She was the protagonist; the leading lady in the story that was her life. It was impossible to even fathom anything could affect her.

But it had. The local clinics gave her the necessary medications but they looked down on Zinhle and made her feel as if something was wrong with her. Even though they were supposed to know better, the nurses treated Zinhle as if she were trash.

That’s when she decided that her child would not go through the same thing.

She packed her bags (which weren’t much at all) and set out for the city. She travelled for days and when she had finally reached her destination, thirteen-year old Zinhle was fooled by the first crook that she met.

“He was ‘Dr Jingana’,” Zinhle explained. “Well, that’s what the pamphlets said. I went to see him and he told me to get cash and a few items which I quickly did. He said he could make sure you wouldn’t come out HIV positive and I would be cured as well.”

Pepsi ached inside for Zinhle. All alone, a teenager roaming the streets with no-one to turn to.

Pepsi placed a hand on Zinhle’s shoulder. “What did he do to you?”

Zinhle pointed to her burnt arms and scarred face.

“He did this,” she replied.

***

Tell us: HIV/AIDS has been in South Africa for almost 40 years. Hundreds of thousands of people have had it, or live with it today. Do you think there is still a lot of stigma about having this disease in our country?