Tshidi’s body shook with shock and anger when she saw Thabang and Lesedi in bed together. Her eyes swam with tears as she stood motionless in the middle of the room.

Lesedi looked at Tshidi with a wry smile before she slid out of bed and grabbed her clothes and put them on.

Thabang was snoring.

“You’re such a bitch! Why, Lesedi? Why do you hate me so much?” Tshidi said with a trembling voice, tears streaming down on her face.

Lesedi put on her blouse and turned, bare-footed. Silently, she walked up to Tshidi and suddenly slapped her across the cheek.

“Don’t ever call me a bitch again!” she snapped.

Tshidi glared at Lesedi then she slapped her back. They started shouting and hitting each other. It was then that Thabang woke up.

“Tshidi, Lesedi! Stop! Please stop!” Thabang was in his underwear as he tried to pull them apart.

He grabbed at and shoved Lesedi. She staggered back and fell on the bed.

“Please my angel, stop this now,” he said, holding Tshidi’s shoulders with both hands. “This is not what you think. Believe me,” he continued, scared.

“What do you mean, Thabang? Mmm? What do you mean!”

“I can explain, babe.”

“How? How can you betray me with this witch?”

“Who are you calling a witch, cockroach?” Lesedi asked, stepping forward towards them. “I guess you couldn’t give Thabang what he needed after all.” Lesedi was smiling.

“I don’t know what happened Tshidi. I was drunk. I don’t have feelings for Lesedi. My heart belongs to you. You are my only angel. I made a big mistake. I’m sorry.”

“You know what Thabang – I don’t want to hear it. Your excuses. You have really hurt me, Thabang. I can’t believe you slept with her when you know how she treated me.” Then the anger raged up in her. “You know what – I think you two deserve each other.” She turned towards Lesedi. “Fine. You won Lesedi. Have him! I’m done with him,” she said and ran from the room.

“No baby! Please come back! Let me explain,” Thabang shouted after her but it was too late.

*****

Tshidi looked at the suicide notes she had written; she looked at the pills in her hand. The pain in her heart was unbearable. The pills would be too slow. What if Koko came home before they had worked? She wanted a sudden death.

In the wardrobe Tshidi found two belts, her cloth tunic belt and her leather belt for jeans. She climbed the chair and tied the leather belt from the roof beam. She joined the two belts and knelt down to pray.

Finally, she did it. She kicked the chair away; hanged herself.

“Joo! Thusang! Joo!” Makgolo screamed, her hands waving frantically about as she entered shortly after and saw her granddaughter. She had come back early; she had forgotten to give Tshidi money for meat.

Tshidi was hanging motionless from the beam.

“Help! Thusang hle, batho! Help!”

“Koko what is it! Why are you …Oh my God!” Mohau gasped, staring at Tshidi. He had heard the old woman screaming and came running.

“Do something! Cut the belt! Quick!”

Mohau climbed onto the chair and put his left arm around Tshidi’s waist and jerked her up. He loosened the belt around her neck. Tshidi’s body was limp. Her mouth was open and her tongue stuck out.

Mohau called the ambulance while Koko tried to breathe life back into her.

“Please breathe! Why aren’t you breathing? Breath ngwanaka,” she wailed.

“The ambulance is here Koko. I can hear the sirens,” Mohau cried out as he rushed inside.

“There is no use! She is not breathing. She is not breathing!” the old woman cried.

A paramedic felt Tshidi’s wrist. “There is still something here. Very faint but I can feel a pulse.”

And then they were rushing her to the hospital. Makgolo prayed and prayed as the doctors helped Tshidi.

It took a long time but two days later Tshidi regained conciousness. As she woke she was crying.

“The baby?” was the first thing she said.

“You lost it,” said the nurse by her side. “I’m so sorry.”

Makgolo was standing there at the foot of her bed.

“I didn’t even know,” she told Tshidi quietly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I couldn’t,” said Tshidi.

“But you are alive,” Koko said and hugged her. “Shh. Don’t cry my child. Don’t cry,” Koko repeated and wiped the tears off Tshidi’s face. “Everything is going to be OK. We will get through this together.”

“Koko, I’m sorry for disappointing you. I’ve learnt a lesson. From now on I’m going to focus on my school work and nothing else. I’ll make you proud of me again. I promise.”

*****

Tshidi lived up to her promise. She worked hard at school even though the pain of losing her baby was at times hardly bearable. But time healed her and she laughed again.

The next year at the Miss Sedibeng High Beauty Pageant, Tshidi was announced as the winner again – and Lesedi was one of the people who congratulated her this time around.

Why? Well, Lesedi was pregnant and so couldn’t compete. She claimed Thabang was the father, but he denied it. Thabang meanwhile was far away now in university and Tshidi didn’t miss him anymore.

She believed that God gave her a second chance and she was determined not to waste it; to use it to the fullest.

***

Tell us what you think: What lesson has Lesedi learned? What could she do to get Thabang to acknowledge he is the father? Should she?