I text Phatokazi . I paid Zuki to get her number for me. He can get anything for anyone – he’s one of those talented guys like that. This is what the SMS says – Dumi dictated it to me:

“Hey cutie…I’m a secret admirer. Meet me by the toilets after school. Come alone.”

After that I’m so nervous all day I can’t concentrate in class. And I keep going to the toilets to check if I’ve got an sms reply. Nothing! “Chill, bra,” Dumi tells me. “I saw her checking her cellphone at break.”

“You did?”

“For sure?”

“And?”

“And she was smiling like the cat that got the cream!”

I can’t believe it. When it gets to the end of school I’m so nervous I start sweating, and shaking, and Vusi says it doesn’t look good. He tells me to take some deep breaths and freshen up so’s I’m ready. I go to the toilets and splash cold water on my face. When the bell goes for second break I’m out there, running down towards the toilets with Dumi and Vusi. They can’t wait, I can tell.

They leave me there in the middle of the dirt like I’m target practise and they dive behind the wall, out of sight. I don’t have any protection and I’m hoping and praying that Phathokazi takes the part of the sms where it says ‘come alone’ seriously! I can hear Dumi and Vusi trying to stop laughing. They are cracking up. Dumi sounds like he’s choking. “Shut up, man,” I hear Vusi thumping him, but it only makes him laugh louder. Then I hear the sound of footsteps.

“She’s coming,” I hiss and the other two go silent. But I’m worried any moment they’ll give it all away and crack up again, and then I’ll be dead meat. False alarm, it’s one of the guys running down the end of the school to the fence to score a skyf from his friend on the other side.

Ten minutes later and I want to go to the toilet so badly. The guys are getting impatient now. I’ve given up on this stupid plan when I hear the pitter patter of Phathokazi’s feet, what a beautiful joyous sound. She comes running around the corner all out of breath to meet her Prince Charming. And I’m right in front of her, but she’s still searching, looking around expectantly. “Did you see someone waiting here?” she asks me. “I was meant to meet a guy here.” I want to point out the obvious, that the guy is me, but she looks so disappointed. “I guess he hasn’t showed up.” She sniffs.

Of course she wouldn’t think her secret admirer was me – not in her wildest dreams. I am trapped. What do I do? But it’s now or never and the guys are whistling under their breath behind the wall. Do it…Thando. Just do it!

“Say hello,” Dumi hisses.

“Hi…” I hold out my hand, but she just looks at it like she’s never seen a hand before. The guys are going crazy now behind the wall.

“Now…the line…Go with the line.” Vusi whispers.

“Something is wrong with my eyes…” I start.

“What’s that?” she says distracted, like she hasn’t heard me. She’s too busy scanning the school yard for Mr Loverman who will sweep her off her feet. Then she looks at me and frowns, “What’s wrong with your eyes?” I clear my throat. This is not going according to the game plan.

“Something is wrong with my eyes – I can’t seem to take them off you…” Phew! The words are out. My first ever chat up line.

“You’re the man!” I hear from behind the wall. “Keep talking ,Thando – you’re the man!”

“Would you like to go out with me…?” I blurt it out And then, like I haven’t ruined it already, I really make sure and repeat it. “Would you like to come out….?”

***

Do you think Phathokazi will agree to go out with Thando? Why? Why not?