“No, no, no sweetie! You know I hate it when you wear your hoodie up – you look like a gangster. Take it off. Let us see your handsome face. That’s better,” his mother said, kissing him on the cheek as she pushed his grey hood back off his face. “And stand tall and proud. You’re 16 now! Oh look … there are Aunty Tess and the kids.”

Jan scowled at his mother (who was no longer looking at him), and briefly straightened up from his usual slouch as they walked to their table in the steakhouse.

“Happy birthday, Jan, darling!” His Aunty Tess stood and kissed him. “You’ve grown so much!” she said in a loud, excited voice. “Now it’s time my sister fattened you up skinny-malinky!” She winked at his mother, who she knew very well always pressed him to eat more. “A young guy like you must be eating double what a girl eats, hey. I’ll be watching you tonight!”

Jan smiled weakly at his aunt, hoping there were no kids from his school around to witness him being fussed over. His older cousin Lindy gave him a hug. “Happy birthday, cuzzie,” she said and rolled her eyes, motioning to the adults. She understood just how uncool they were, talking like that about him, in public too. He smiled back.

His younger brother, Deon, and his cousins, were excited. “Ma, can I have a Double-decker Burger … um, with cheese and chips … and a milkshake. And then ice cream. Pleeease, Ma!”

“Me too. But I want pineapple on my burger and a king-size Coke!”

“Shush! Calm down, everyone. Stop yelling, you kids. You can all have what you want because it’s a special occasion: Jan is 16 today,” said his dad. “Happy birthday. I wish you all the best, my boy,” he smiled, giving Jan’s hand a rough squeeze that crunched his bones together. “Well, young man I should say.”

Ouch! My poor fingers, Jan thought, but smiled briefly back. His dad was OK, even if he was over-emotional about his kids.

“Happy birthday to you …” they all began singing, while everyone in the restaurant swivelled to see who the birthday song was for. Jan blushed at the staring and the loud, tuneless words directed at him. He sat hunched and embarrassed, waiting for the stupid kiddie song to end.

But there was no escape – a group of loudly laughing sports jocks from school came in and looked round for a place to sit. Oh no! Jan cringed, hoping they would ignore the racket from his corner of the restaurant. He sank even lower into himself.

They had no problem with their posture, swaggering confidently in, chins up, their tees tight over their wide chests and chunky biceps, their bulging thighs the size of his waist. The sporty girls with them were all so hot too: long shapely legs, low-cut spaghetti-strap tops showing lots of cleavage, their faces painted bright with make-up.

He saw them look in his direction and all smile, and make comments. I bet they would never let their families shame them in this lame way, he thought, furious.

At last the birthday song ended in the ignominy of the “hip hip hoorays” and all the tables round them joining in for the “Nog a piep!”

“Check who’s arrived,” Lindy said when the noise stopped. She and Jan were both science nerds, way outside the sports-jock set. “Hmm … but Lebo is a beast – and hot, I have to admit. He’s even quite smart apparently. OMG I dunno how those dumb girls think they look with all that overdone base and stuff on their faces.”

“How do you know they’re dumb? They look like the kind of beautiful girls who get to go out with the hottest guys in school,” said Jan.

“Ya, well, I will never wear make-up that fake. And I guess I’ll also therefore never go out with a hot jock like Lebo,” Lindy laughed at herself.

“And I will never go out …” began Jan, then paused as he tuned into the quiet exchange between his aunt and mother across the table.

“Any sign of a girlfriend yet?”

“No, I don’t think so. But give him a chance – he’s just turned 16 and he’s shy,” said his mom.

I will never go out with anyone, looking the way I do, thought Jan bitterly.

But as he sat there, silent, with all the chatter around him, he felt a feeling, a conviction, grow inside. He was ready to make a serious pledge: I am going to do something about myself.

***

Tell us what you think: What is Jan going to do? Are many teenagers too critical of their bodies?