My mummy mentor found a place for me to stay in Second Avenue in Fish Hoek. I moved there with a sleeper couch which was going to be my bed, a TV and a baby’s cot. Those were the three big things that were in my small room.

The family I was staying with, the Ngwenyas, were from Bulawayo in Zimbabwe and spoke Ndebele at home. They welcomed me with open arms. Mrs Ngwenya was a short, beautiful and very intelligent woman.

“Ukululekhe ke sisi usekhaya la,” she said with a smile.

“Thank you, Mrs Ngwenya. Tomorrow I’m going for the induction at Groote Schuur and will come back after I give birth.”

“Everything will go well and I can’t wait to see my grandchild,” she said happily.

The next day I was at the hospital, lying on my back and connected to machines. Conceiving is something that God created for women to go through at some point in their lives, I thought to myself.

I was sharing the ward with three other friendly women. Two of them were married and the other one was still dating, and the guy came to visit her. On visiting day I felt so alone as I watched them with their loved ones.

I had family, but nobody seemed to be able to come. As l looked away from the bubbly faces as they talked, tears started flowing down and I wiped them away.

“Crying isn’t good for the baby,” I heard Kate say from behind me.

“I can’t help it. How are you?” I greeted her.

“I’m doing good. And as for you, I guess the hormones are working on you,” Kate teased.

“They are inducing me tomorrow morning at 4 a.m. until the labour pains start,” I told her.

“Can’t Primrose come and be with you during labour? Because I’m starting to catch a cold and I don’t want the baby to get sick.” Kate said.

“I don’t think she’ll say yes because she’s even scared of cockroaches,” I laughed.

“It’s just good to have someone for support when you’re in labour,” she advised. “If the sneezing stops I’ll come and be with you, OK?”

When Kate left I ate the grapes that she had bought for me and later had the yoghurt for dessert after our supper. I was really blessed to have met her – I felt that God had made the necessary provision at the appropriate time.

At 4 p.m. one of the nurses took me to the fourth floor where I was going to be inducted. I said goodbye to the other women that I shared the room with. They all said an induction was painful, but I wasn’t scared at all.

Early the next morning I lay on the bed facing the ceiling again, while they checked the baby’s heartbeat. “I’m injecting you with the medicine that will make you start labour,” the nurse told me. I hate needles with a passion and had to survive the drip into my left hand. The whole day nothing happened and there was no pain, up until midnight. Then I was in labour for about nine hours.

At 8:42 a.m. the following morning, Saturday 16th of April 2011, a cry of joy broke out from my lips as I looked at my adorable little baby boy.

Jayden was born weighing 3.5 kilos. He had round eyes and they were darting around looking at me and looking at the ceiling. Just like his name promised, I was thankful that I had him; regardless of the fact that he was born out of wedlock.

A nurse came to take him to the nursery. I fell into such a deep sleep that if someone had moved me to another place, I wouldn’t have noticed a thing.

“Prosperity, wake up now,” the nurse said, shaking me. At first I could only hear the words from afar, as if I was dreaming, until I eventually opened my eyes. My body felt very tired. However, I stood up, took my toiletry bag and went to shower.

“Where’s my son?” I asked the nurse when I returned.

“He’ll be here shortly, don’t worry,” she answered. “You must start breastfeeding him when he comes.”

She brought my son wrapped in a white shawl. I took Jayden from her and smiled at him. I couldn’t believe it – that I had given birth to such a handsome little boy. He looked so much like his father when he was smiling. I started breastfeeding Jayden, even though it felt like there was no milk coming out.

Primrose, and my cousin Brian, came to see us at lunch time. “Congratulations, Prosy,” they said hugging me. “Welcome to motherhood, the sleepless nights and all that!”

“Well for now I don’t even know that I’ll experience all that,” I said. “I’m just glad that I’ve got a bouncing baby boy.”

My cousin took photos of us before they left to go back to varsity. I was happy that Primrose had managed to come. I was reading a magazine that my cousin brought for me when I dozed off to sleep again. My body was still very tired and needed to rest.

After a while Jayden woke me up crying and I knew it was time to change his nappy and breastfeed him. “Oh I really need some peaceful sleep,” I said struggling to open my eyes. I was still barely able to believe that I was a mother.

Roviss never called or came to visit his son in hospital. However he texted me later that day congratulating me. He named his son Nyiko which meant ‘Gift’. He didn’t act like our son was a gift to him at all, otherwise he would have come to see him in hospital.

Breastfeeding Jayden was a struggle because of my big nipples. At times I wondered if he ever had enough milk. I stayed in hospital for three days and when I was discharged Kate came with her husband, Peter, and their son, to pick me up.

Kate and I sat at the back and she was the one holding Jayden all the way home. I was very grateful that they had come to fetch me otherwise I would have had to take a train home. With the stitches I had, walking would be painful, let alone sitting in a train.

“If there’s anything you need please just give me a shout, OK,” Kate said, before she left.

Jayden had everything he needed, but the food I had couldn’t last more than a week. For me to breastfeed I needed healthy food to eat. Where was I going to get it from?

My mother called to congratulate me and to check up on how I was doing. I really wished she was here so that she could feed me and help me with my baby. The stitches made it difficult to walk and all I wanted to do was to lie down.

But Mrs Ngwenya acted like a mother from the day I arrived from the hospital. She would massage my back and dip a cloth in very warm water and massage my stomach twice a day. She did that first thing in the morning and when she got back from work. Whenever I was feeling very tired and needed to sleep, Mrs Ngwenya would sleep with Jayden in her bedroom.

When Jayden was a week old, I took him with me to Stellenbosch to get some money from Roviss. I didn’t have any money for food and was surviving from the food Mrs Ngwenya provided me with. It was a chilly Saturday morning and I dressed Jayden in very warm clothes and wrapped him up in a cosy baby blanket. When I got to Roviss’ flat he wasn’t there, but his friend, Ayanda, was there.

Ayanda made the phone call to Roviss to tell him I was there. I could tell from his expression that Roviss didn’t want us there. Two minutes after Roviss hung up, I received an SMS on my phone.

I’m only coming 2moro and

I don’t want to find you at my place.

If you don’t know me well

let me find you there.

I replied, telling him that Jayden and I were not going anywhere and would wait for him to get the money he owed us. Ayanda was sweet and held Jayden. He prepared me some food before he left to go out with his friends. That Saturday night Roviss didn’t come back to his flat and I waited for him the whole of the following day. He only came back around 6 p.m.

“A friend of mine is waiting for you downstairs, to drive you back to Fish Hoek,” he instructed.

He never bothered to go and have even a glimpse at Jayden, who was sleeping peacefully in his bedroom. Waking up my son didn’t seem like a good idea, so I ignored Roviss and kept on watching TV. He muttered something that I could hardly hear, then he slammed the door on his way out.

Roviss wanted me to leave without the money I had come for. I looked like dirt in his eyes now that I had had a baby … his own blood. I went to the bedroom and crouched in a corner and wept. I let the tears flow and didn’t wipe any of them away. I’m not sure what time Roviss came back home, but it was very late, after midnight.

Before he went to work the next day he handed me R500. “Make sure you leave this morning because I don’t want to see you again when I get back,” he said, warning me.

“Thank you,” I said softly. I went home and rested.

I knew that my dad always passed by Mrs Ngwenya’s house to go to work, but he never bothered to come and see us. He was still so disappointed in me that he didn’t want to see my face. That really hurt me, but I learnt to accept it, since I couldn’t undo what was done.

My mother came to visit us when Jayden was two months old. I was over the moon to have her with us.

I had realised that Jayden wasn’t getting enough milk from being breastfed, so after a month I had put him on a bottle. My mother and I took turns to feed Jayden at night. Most of the time if it was my turn I pretended to be fast asleep, so that she would end up giving him the bottle!

Even though she was very happy to see her first grandchild, it hurt her to see me suffering. I didn’t have even a cup of mealie-meal or cooking oil in my cupboards. They contained only a few plates, pots and cooking utensils.

“Masiyothenga ukudla, Prosy,” she said. “How have you been surviving?”

“Mrs Ngwenya would share with me whatever she was eating with her family,” I replied.

“It’s time your father forgives you. Why can’t he come and see for himself what you’re going through, all alone?” she asked sadly.

The last thing I wanted was to cause a division between my parents. It was obvious that my mother had come to visit us without my dad’s consent. All I hoped for was to get a job so that I could provide for myself and Jayden.

Thanks to my mother my kitchen cupboards were now full. She stayed with me for about three weeks, before she left to go back home with Jayden.

“I know your dad wouldn’t want me to take my grandchild, so that you can work.” She continued, “Kodwa ngizoyenza lokho kufanele ngikuyenze njengo ma wakho.”

“Maita basa mama, thank you mum,” I said with a smile.

Kate invited my mum and I for tea and we went to Steurhof where she lived with her husband and their last born son, Chris. They welcomed us with hugs and kisses.

My mother and Kate got along so well and chatted together most of the time we were there. It was such a relief to have my mother come to visit me. I was going to miss her when she left for Pretoria.

***

Tell us what you think: How do you feel about Roviss’s text? Should Prosperity sue him for maintenance?