Ngentseni elandelayo ndafika kwangethuba esikolweni, ndiqala ke phofu. Kubusuku obugqithileyo ndalungisa amazwi endandiza kuwabhekisa kuwe ukuze undithambele. Ndathi xa ndiwanga-wangisa isandla ndikubulisa wadlula okungathi akundiva awabi saguquka undibulise.

Umnqweno wam yayikukubona wena uhleli kweza zitulo zingasebaleni lebhola ekhatywayo. Ngethamsanqa ndakubona uhleli uzolile nalo ncwadana yakho ibomvu ecaleni kwakho. Kwakungekho kuma, imilenze yam yayingcangcazela ngokungathi ndandiya kuwa bhuma phantsi ndakuba ndisondele kuwe ngeenjongo zokuthetha nawe.

“Kudala ndikujongile,” ndibhekise loo mazwi kuwe ndanga ndingawaginya kamsinya. Yayingeyo ndlela ilungileyo yokuzazisa kwe le. Ndandikoyika ubona nje. Ndazikhuza ndacela uxolo kuwe. Wandithi jezu ngamehlo athi ndixolelwe.

Wathi wakuwuvula umlomo wakho ndatsho ndaziva ndiswabuluka. Ilizwi lakho lalingathi lelomlonjikazi, lizolile. Ndathi cwaka ndakubuka amazwi exabe emqaleni. Ndandikujonge ngendlela endandingazange ndawajonga ngayo amanye amantombazana. Ndazama ukuba nombono uncumile, ndasuka ndafudumala ngaphakathi ngulo mfanekiso-ngqondweni.

“Ndiyavuya ukwazi Nozi.” Ndatsho ethubeni ndelule isandla sam. Kwakungathi ndihanjwa ngumbane umzimba wonke wakusibamba. Wayiva wena into enjalo emzimbeni wakho ngalo mini?

Ndanqanyelwa ngamazwi. Ndazibona ubuyatha ndade ndakhangeleka ndisisiyatha emehlweni akho ndingenguye la mfo waziwa ngobuchule ekuhendeni iintombi. Intloko yam yayijikeleza iziphikisa ndizama ukukhumbula la mazwi obuciko bendiwaqambe phezolo. Kwathi cwaka ndasisimumu. Waqhubeka wabhala kwincwadana yakho walibala ngam.

Ubuhle endabubona kuwe loo mini busandimangalisile nangoku.

Waphakama wema ngenyawo. Ndazi nje ukuba uza kundishiya. Ingaba wawudikiwe okanye kwakufike ithuba ube kwenye indawo? Kwakunyanzelekile ukuba ndikuthintele.

“Ndingakubona kwakhona? Kunganjani sibonane kwalapha?”

Wandiphendula ungandijonganga. “Andiqondi ukuba licebo elihle elo. Ndithanda ukuzihlalela ndodwa ixesha elininzi.”

Wahamba wabuya waguquka wathetha nam. Ndacinga ukuba ide yanyibilika intliziyo yakho. Wathi ukuthetha, “Ndiyawazi umgibe wakho wokuzingela iintombi, ndivile. Andingekhe ndikuvumele undenze eliny’ ixhoba nje ngeziny’ iintombi.”

Watsho wee khwitshi.

Ndahamba emva kwakho ndithe chu. Usithi gwije ngaphaya kweekona zezakhiwo zesikolo ungxamile usiya emdanisweni, mna ndilandela emva kwakho ndichwechwa. Ndandisazi ukuba uzibandakanye kwinkqubo yomdaniso eqala emva kokuphuma kwesikolo. Ndenza uphando ngawe. Ndandikhe ndakulandela ngaphambili.

Ndazimela phantsi kwefestile wakungena egumbini lomdaniso. Ndathabatha ixesha lam ukujonga ngaphaya kwayo ndakubukela. Ndathabatheka umxhela andabi saqhwanyaza ndakukubona usima ngenzwane okungathi wawuyintshatsheli yomdaniso weballett. Wathi wakolula iingalo isifuba sakho savuleka ngokungathi wawundamkela ngentliziyo yakho iphela.

Kwakumele ndibe secaleni kwakho kwakhona. Icebo lokuba ndibe kufutshane kuwe kwakhona lakheka kamsinya, andazinika thuba lakurhoxa kweso sigqibo. Ndalinda kude kusondele ixesha lokuphela kwenkqubo yomdaniso. Ndazibona ndingaphakathi kwelo gumbi, ndaya kumqeqeshi womdaniso. Ukuba umdaniso yayikukuphela kwento yokundenza ndibe kufutshane kuwe ndandizimisele ukufunda ukudanisa. Ngale ndlela ndandikholelwa ukuba ndiyakude ndilifumane ithuba lokusondelana nawe ndiwathethe endlebeni yakho amazwi athi ‘ndiyakuthanda’.

Ndabona nje ngendlela owowuyiyo ebusweni ndacacelwa ukuba unyembile bubukho bam apho. Umqeqeshi womdaniso wayengoyena mntu wayenobubela kunawe, wandamkela ngezandla ezingenamikhinkqi. Wena wema bunxe untshingi-ntshingi usonge izandla.

Sasidla ngokuyibiza le titshalakazi yomdaniso ngelikaNocwaka kuba yayingafane ithethele phezulu nokuba sele ivutha ngumsindo.

“Uyakwazi nje ukudanisa darling, okanye uze kuphantsula?” Wandibuza ndayiphendula ngo-ewe yomibini le mibuzo, yathi gquzu ukuhleka indlu ngaphandle kwakho. Wawuzibumbile undithe ntsho ngamehlo.

Andikhumbuli ndinconywa ngokujayiva nasemjuxuzweni. Andizelwanga ndinethambo elindivumela ndizibalule emdanisweni. Kodwa ngenxa yakho ndandixolele ukuzenza intlekisa ndidanisele ukuvuzwa ngothando lwakho.

“Khawuthi ndibonise iturnout yakho, darling.” Yandiyalela inkosikazi yomdaniso.

Ndeva ndixakanisekile, ndingazi ukuba uthetha ngantoni na. Ndacela ukuba aphinde atsho andivanga. Baphinda bahleka abanye abafundi.

Ngelo xesha ndandithandazela ukuba athi mandifundiswe nguwe ukudanisa ukuze ndikoyame ngakumbi kwi-waltzitango. Kuloko wathi masikhululeke sidude senze loo nto ithandwa sithi. Watsho edlala ingoma yekwaito, ethiUzoyithola kanjan’ uhlel’ ekoneni. Ndazinika umhlaba ndaxhininika ‘de ndazibona ndidanisa phambi kwakho. Ndakubulisa, wanqwala ngentloko. Wawungaqumbanga kwesi sihlandlo. Ndacinga ukuba undithambela ndaya ndisondela kuwe nangona wawungandimemanga. Ndeva ivumba elimnandi owawundirhabulisa lona wakuguquka uphebuk’ emoyeni.

Wawungoyena mdanisi ubalaseleyo emehlweni am. Ukuba uNocwaka wayengazange ayicime la igumba-gumba, ngendafumana ndikuwolela kum, ngendade ndakuphuzela apho.

“O! Ndiyabona ukuba eli nyuwana lethu liswabulukile kwaye lizifumanele iqabane,” utsho uNocwaka ngelokundiqhula. “Siza kuqhuba ngeballet leyo ke darlings,” waqhuba. “Nozi, make sure that inyuwana lethu limka apha lingenguye la mfo uliqhitala.”

Wawundihleka undiqhula. Ndafunda ukuma ngeenzwane. Ndandisiwa ndiwile ndiphatha kusola izihlangu zesikolo endandizinxibile. Ngomonde wandinyamezela.

Ndandingazi ukuba ukudanisa kunzima kangako. Ndemka apho kwelo gumbi lomdaniso ndiqaqanjelwa ngamaqatha. Ndacela ukuba ndikupheleka xa ugoduka. Andivanga usala okanye uvuma. Waguquka wonda ngesango ndakulandela.

Sathi sakube sisondele eSidla ndaqonda ukuba ukufuphi apho uhlala khona.

“Unesiphiwo, italente engavangwanga.” Ndatsho ngethemba lokugxotha isithukuthezi phakathi kwethu kubekho incoko. Ndakufeza oku. Wandixelela ukubaluleka komdaniso ebomini bakho. Wathi uziva ukhululeka wakudanisa. Akukho zanzwili zingakuvisa ubuhlungu wakuphakamisa iingalo zakho udanise. Umdaniso ngumtshabalalisi weentsizi zakho.

Ndafunga ngaphakathi ukuba ndiya kuthabatha indima edlalwa ngumdaniso ngothando lwam, ndibeke emagxeni am zonke iinzwinini zakho.

“Yintoni ekwenza ulibale ngezakho iingxaki?” Undibuze watsho.

“Ngunyana wam,” ndaphendula. “Undenza ndilibale ngazo zonke izinto endakhe ndazenza ngaphambili. Undenza ndibone likhulu ngobomi.”

“Unomntwana?” ubuze wothukile. “Uhlala nawe?”

Ndakubalisela ngonyana wam uSithembiso, nangendlela aweza ngayo. Wakhaleka ungayikholelwa le nto, kodwa ke ethubeni wabonakala ukhathazekile. Ndakuxelela izifungo endazenza kuye, esona sasiphambili seso sokuba ndingafani notata.

Ndimkhumbula kancinci utata. Zimbalwa izinto endizikhumbulayo ngaye phambi kokuba ahambe. Ndiyamkhumbula, kodwa umama akafuni tu ukuthetha ngaye. Ndiyazi ukuba wamhlukumeza ngendlela engathethekiyo. Umama notata babephila ubomi obungafaniyo, bezintsalu. Utata wayehamba-hamba kakhulu, ndandicinga ukuba ngumkhenkethi. Wayesoloko engekho ekhaya.

Kwenzeka ngenye imini ehambile, wahamba umphelo, wandishiya nophawu lwakhe kum – umvambo welanga engalweni. Andinakukhanyela ukuba ndingowakhe nokuba ndiyathanda. Ndingowakhe umphelo. Ndisazikhumbula iintlungu zenaliti enyameni yam negazi lixubana ne-ink. Ndandingalili kuba ndifuna azingce ngam. Ndandilula kakhulu ndingenanzondo. Kodwa ngokukhula kwam, ndayifukama ngaphakathi.

Ndakubonisa loo mvambo, waqwalasela undisizela.

“Nam ndinomntwana,” watsho ndee manga. “Yinkwenkwe edlamkileyo.”

Ndandingakwazi ukufihla indlela endandidane ngayo. Ndaduda ndangcagcazela zezi ndaba ngawe Nozi. Ndandingakwazi kuyicinga into yokukhulelwa kwakho. Kwenzeka njani uthi umsulwa unje ukhulelwe? Ndazibuza ingqondo ibetha-bethana.

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Sixelele ukuba ucinga ntoni: Ubuyilindele into enje ngoNozi? Inoba kubangwe zeziphi iimeko ukuba uNozi akhulelwe?