So about Lazola. She’s eighteen, I’m sixteen, and we don’t live on the same side of town. But we go to the same high school, which sits half way between our homes. Ja, you know the school, right? The one next to Bruce’s Scrapyard. Yes, that classy place.
True story: Bruce’s Scrapyard is owned by some white guy named Danie. There is no Bruce. When his wife shows up, we can hear her yelling, “Dan-EEEEEEEEEEE.” Which makes me think Dan-EEEEE’s wife and mommy have a lot in common. Ag, then again, maybe not. This woman’s got a boerboel named Princess (I do not lie) and another named Handsome. The woman kisses those ugly beasts right on the mouth, which shows she’s messed up in the head. My mommy is not a dog person. She likes cats, one-hundred percent. Probably because the cats can fend for themselves, but that’s just my opinion.
My mommy says, “Opinions are like buttholes, everyone has one, and everybody’s stinks.”
That’s not really what my mommy says. Her language is saltier than pork rinds.
I don’t like pork rinds, but my daddy does. Which says it all.
But back to Lazola. She is eighteen and I’m sixteen, but we are the tallest girls in the school and the best netball players. (Ag, I’m not bragging, it’s just the truth, hey?) She loves to read and so do I. But the library is too far from where I live, and my parents won’t take me. Last time I asked mommy said, “I don’t have time for that.”
Daddy said, “We have DSTV. Do you not understand how lucky you are? DSTV! That’s what I’m paying for. That’s what you’re going to watch.”
TV is always on at our house, even when I’m trying to read or study. I don’t like it, but you get used to it. You have to. Either learn to live with it or go crazy. I don’t want to go crazy, so I just read right through the noise.
Lazola’s parents, however, not only take her to the library, they sometimes buy her books. And she’s lekker-nice about letting other people read them if they want to. I always want to. Latest book of hers that I’m reading is The Blessed Girl by Angela Makholwa.
Have you read it?
Tjo, I didn’t think I was going to like it at first. Those big glittery lips on the cover are not my thing. I’m not a very girly person, much to my mommy’s great disappointment. Jade, who is only eleven, does her nails on weekends, and straightens her hair, and wears pink and sparkles. I’m happy in a t-shirt and jeans and a spot of deodorant under each arm. The rest is just…stuff. Whose got time for that, hey? You don’t see men wasting their time all those extra things – they just clean themselves, put on their clothes and they’re good.
But I’ve started to warm to Bontle (the main character of The Blessed Girl, do keep up). I mean, Bontle is naugh-TY! My mommy would lock her in a chastity belt and throw away the key. Then again, Bontle isn’t a teenager, but a grown woman trying to look like she’s forever young.
Anyway, I’m not sure Bontle has much of a future in her chosen profession. Which is basically, as my mommy would say, “Giving men the milk for a bottle of champagne.” Which is not what I want to do in life. But all Bontle wants is some happiness. That I get. One-hundred percent. Which is why I phoned Lazola. Because my life can stink and I wanted some happy.
Tell us: Have any of you read The Blessed Girl by Angela Makholwa? If so, what did you think? If not, what have you read lately? Give us a mini review, as we might want to read it, too.