Monday morning came and, like all Mondays, I knew there was a test waiting for me in Engineering class. At least I would see Marius. More chance of that than passing the test.

I wrote the test and handed in my paper. I was among the first ones to finish. I have never seen the point of sitting and staring at a paper if you know you don’t know the answers. I walked out and sat on the steps in the sun. After a while, I saw Marius coming out. As he passed me I smiled at him but he didn’t seem to notice.

“Hey, how was the test?” I asked, still smiling.

“Fine,” he mumbled, and walked on. I was confused: what the hell had just happened? The reality of Marius acting hot and cold was really affecting me more than I cared to admit. I couldn’t understand how I had even let him get under my skin.

I had been hoping to talk to him and steer the conversation towards our likes and hobbies, and to see if he was interested in me beyond the schoolwork. But he gave me no chance.

I got up and started walking. I walked around campus, wandering as far as the male residences. I was feeling more miserable by the minute. I needed to think and clear my head. I needed a good cry far away from prying eyes. I needed to be alone.

As I walked the University grounds looking for stones to kick, I almost bumped into the wall of one of the reses. And then, just like it happens in the movies, with the light and the heavenly music, I saw what I was supposed to do.

Right in front of my eyes, plastered in big black capital letters , was the sign I had been praying for. It was on a notice board outside the res:

NAMASTE DANCE CO.

AUDITIONS

The university had a dance company and they were auditioning for new members. How had I not known this? I had been at NMMU for eight months already and I didn’t know this. I carefully unpinned the notice off the board, grateful that it was not glued down, and ran.

I ran till I was out of breath and out of the campus gates.

The auditions were to be on a Saturday. The poster also said I needed to prepare my own piece and bring my own music. I was so excited I decided to start rehearsing that very day. I had no-one to share the news with, and for the first time, that didn’t bother me. This was my little thing and I was going to get it on my own merit.

After lunch I went to sign up for the auditions. That evening I bought batteries for my mini hi-fi and took it to the beach. My first rehearsal was more than liberating. I was me again!

The rest of that week was a blur. Between Marius not talking to me and Sindi practically refusing to acknowledge that I existed, I had more time for myself. I wasn’t roaming around aimlessly anymore when I had free time. I was rehearsing.

Saturday came and I was nervous but excited. My Engineering team, under Marius, was meeting in the morning. I had done my best at completing the task Marius had given to me, early in the week, so that I could focus more on preparing my dance piece.

I was looking forward to seeing Marius even though I knew he probably wouldn’t be speaking to me. But I hoped. Seeing him again would give me one more chance to talk to him.

That all changed when we were in class, and in our teams for the project. “You’re useless, Sino!” he had barked. “I shouldn’t have put you on this team.” Even other groups turned round to see why he had raised his voice. My group members looked down awkwardly. Without thinking, I bolted out of the class and just ran.

I stood outside the lecture hall and cried. Marius, Sindi, everyone was right. I was useless and I was going to flunk this term and lose my bursary. My mom would get hurt and I would be miserable. I cried till there was nothing left in me worth crying for.

The dance auditions were today. But I felt so worthless, so useless, I didn’t even know if I wanted to go to them. What was the point of it all?

The class came out. I saw Marius, and he saw me, and started pushing his way towards me. But I ran off.

He couldn’t ever take back the hurtful words he had shouted at me.

***

Tell us: What would you do if you were in Sino’s shoes?