We have just connected the sound system to more speakers when the girls want to move the party outside.

“No, no, no. Keep the party inside. That way you won’t have more uninvited people like us,” says Lwando, laughing.

I pull out the bottle of vodka from the front of my pants and place it on the table. Lwando turns the music up loud. The girls start dancing.

After a long while of dancing and drinking, some of Nosiviwe’s friends start to leave. Soon there are only her close girlfriends left. Two girls remain. Three including the birthday girl.

“Do you see the key hanging on the door?” asks Lwando, speaking loudly into my ear.

“Ja,” I reply.

He puts his ear close to my mouth, “Huh? I can’t hear you.”

“Yes, I see the key,” I repeat.

“Just now I will give you a signal to lock the door. I will need Mfundo to hit the light bulb with the broom behind the door just after…”

“Yes,” I say, pretending to be dancing next to Lwando. “Wait, wait, wait! And then what happens in the dark?” I ask, a little worried now.

“In the dark, my friend, in the dark! In the dark we get what we want. See those thighs dancing there – you want to be between those legs don’t you?”

I want to. What guy wouldn’t? I have always wanted to have sex with Cikizwa. But she always tells me that she does not date boys from the village where she lives.

She always asks me, “Why do you love me Sabelo?”

How do I answer that? “Because you have slightly bow legs, a round ass and the most beautiful lips?” I don’t know.

But, what Lwando has in mind is wrong. He does not seem to care. I know this will be our initiation. Between myself and Mfundo, whoever does not do as he says will be punished, kicked out of the group.

At least Nonyaniso is not here. She must have left the party early to be with Sihle, just as she has been bragging about from days ago already. Today, her disappearing with Sihle is good. For once I am glad she is with him.

Tonight I am on a combination I have never tried before. We smoked two bottle kops and a fat zol before the party. Then vodka is added to the mix – a lot of it. My head is spinning. I feel reckless. I want what I want. I start asking myself: Why would parents leave girls alone at a party? Leave them to the care of neighbours? Not such a good idea. Where are the neighbours now?

Nosiviwe’s parents have already celebrated her birthday in the afternoon. Now they have gone to relatives for the evening, leaving the young ones to party. Part of me wishes her parents would come back. Before it is too late.

Lwando gives me the signal. I go to the door. Mfundo is dancing next to the cupboard. He looks ridiculous. But we are all high as kites. The girls don’t notice our movements.

Just as I get to the door it opens. I freeze. Nonyaniso is standing in the doorway, a big smile on her face.

“No, no, no, you can’t come in.” I try to push her back outside.

Nosiviwe comes running to the door. “Let her in, chocho, chommie yam, my friend!” she screams happily. They hug. I turn to look at Lwando.

He mimes the words, “Vala ucango, close the door.”

Fuck it, I hate Sihle even more. Why isn’t he with Nonyaniso tonight? Why is she here?

I close the door. Mfundo hits the light bulb. The room is in total darkness. The girls run screaming into one of the bedrooms which has lights on. Screaming.

Lwando and Mfundo follow them. Lwando has the butcher’s knife he threatened Tat’uLudwe with in his hand.

Hesitantly, I open the door of the small cupboard on the wall that houses the electricity switchboard. I flick the switch down. Now the whole house is in darkness except for the light on Lwando’s cellphone. He is shining it at the girls, who are huddled in one corner of the bedroom.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up! You are making my head go mad,” he shouts.

“What are you doing?” Nosiviwe cries.

“This is a knife. I will cut all of you if you go on screaming like that.”

The girls keep quiet. I can make out their shapes huddled against the wall. I search for Nonyaniso. I want to try to pull her to the front room. No time. Lwando and Mfundo are already pulling the girls into a line.

“Make one more sound. Refuse to play with us and all of you are dead,” Lwando says again. We pin the girls down.

I feel for Cikizwa. No – not this one. It is not her. I can make out the shape of her hair in the dark. I feel the next one. I think it is her. But, someone is already on top of her.

I move to the next one in the line. I try to feel for the face of the girl underneath me. It is wet with tears. I slide her panties off. She cries silently as I carry on.

“Move,” I hear Lwando’s demanding voice.

I am not sure who the girl is I have just had sex with. But it is too late to try and find out. Lwando is pulling me up. I think I hear Nonyaniso’s cry, but which one is she? It is pitch dark.

I get up, push past Mfundo, out into the night.

* * *

Tell us what you think: Is being high drugs and drink an excuse to lessen the seriousness of the charges for crimes like this?