In the village

Sometimes I have lain awake in terror that someone will realise that I am lying about being pregnant. They will figure out my plan. But then in the morning everyone is so normal about the “pregnancy”. They all show me much more respect now.

And I reason to myself: why would they suspect I am lying? In their hearts they also desperately want their son and brother, my husband, to be having a baby. It’s the most natural, the most normal thing in the world: to not want a barren woman in the family.

And “acting pregnant” comes so easily to me, that I sometimes think I really am! Then my period comes and I have to be extra careful; pretend I am having a bad few days and keep to myself.

But right now, this moment, I can’t stop smiling. I’m “seven months pregnant” and in the bus, going to town. My mother-in-law had swallowed my story, even encouraged me. And I wasn’t even lying about my cousin.

“Mother, my cousin has suggested I go to stay with her in town. She lives close to the hospital with the best maternity clinic. After taking so long to get pregnant, I don’t want anything to go wrong. She works and will feed me well and look after me. My husband thinks it is the best thing to do too.”

“Oh yes, my dear! To be spared the long walk to the clinic here for your check-ups and to be right at the maternity hospital is very good. Yes, we want you to be near the best care, in case anything goes wrong. Not that it will – the prophet is still interceding with God for us, I am sure.”

And so the time flies and soon I am “eight months pregnant” and everyone thinks I am going for “check-ups” every two weeks at the maternity clinic attached to the hospital.

My cousin and I have even been shopping for cute baby clothes and blankets and nappies. She is so thrilled for me, and we discuss baby stuff endlessly.

She is longing for a baby herself, but is waiting for the right relationship – and she thinks she might have found it. She is at work all day, and often with her boyfriend at night, so knows little of my movements. Yes, I am very pleased that she is seldom home.

It’s in one of the mom and baby magazines she buys me, that I come across a most amazing article. It begins like this:

Did you know that even if you are not pregnant, you can stimulate your breasts to make milk? For example, women who adopt babies may do this. They may be very keen to give their new baby the great health benefits of breastfeeding, rather than bottle feeding.

I already feel mentally that I am a mom-to-be, and have been thinking my breasts feel a bit tender. I do as the article tells me. I buy and use a breast pump and herbal and other supplements, and within a few weeks I can squeeze some milk out of my breasts. I feel so emotional I cry with happiness when this happens. I am going to be such a good mother. A real, true mother.

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Tell us: Did you know that a non-pregnant woman can really stimulate her breasts to make milk, or use medicines to increase her milk supply?