I dressed slowly the next morning. I hadn’t worn my uniform for over a month. I looked at myself in the mirror. No, I wasn’t Ntombi YomZulu, or Precious. I was Wonanji Phiri. There was going to be no more pretending to be someone I wasn’t. Fear or no fear. Today was the day I was going to face Asanda again.

Olena and Thandeka SMSed me to say they would be waiting for me at the entrance to school. Plus Olena had told me that Andile had asked after me and was looking forward to seeing me again at school. I had felt a warmth spreading in my heart when I heard those words.

I buttoned up my white shirt and smoothed down my hair. It was time to go. I could see that my mom didn’t want to let me go. We both remembered the last time I had gone to school and how I had come back to find we had no home. But the Principal had assured my mother and father that it was safe for me to come back.

“I’ll be fine, Mama,” I assured her.

“You must be looking forward to seeing Olena and Thandeka again?” my mother asked me.

“I can’t wait.” I wanted to get back to studying. I still had to prove to the Principal that I was going to make it. I wanted to do better than just make it. I wanted to do well.

“I’ll SMS you from school.” I waved goodbye. It was a long journey to school by train and taxi.

I didn’t tell Mama how frightened I felt. I didn’t know what was waiting for me. I had missed a lot of work. Would I know what was going on? Would the class accept me back?

Olena and Thandeka were waiting for me as they had promised, by the entrance. We hugged.

“Hello, stranger,” Thandeka smiled that wide smile of hers.

“It will be OK,” said Olena. “Just ignore Asanda if she says anything.”

As I walked into the classroom Asanda looked up from where she was sitting with a group of her friends. She had been waiting for me to come back. She had been waiting for this moment.

“Look who’s back. It’s Ntombi YomZulu. Where have you been – to your home in Zululand?” All the girls laughed. They all knew that I had lied that day in class, saying that I was Zulu. They all knew why I had not been at school for a month.

“Come Thandeka. Come and sit with us. You don’t want to be sitting with ikhwerekhwere.” Asanda loved to be the centre of attention, the loudest in the class.

Some of the other girls told Asanda to be quiet. But she was just getting started. It was still ten minutes to the bell and start of lessons.

“How come they didn’t send you back home with the others? I thought there were buses taking you people home, to where you belong.”

“She belongs here,” said Olena, firmly.

“Not next to me,” said Asanda.

“I am going to sit with Wonanji,” Thandeka told Asanda.

“Wonanji? What kind of name is that?” Asanda turned to get support from the others. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard a Zulu girl with that name.”

“Welcome back, Wonanji.” Andile had come into the class. He came straight up to me and gave me a hug.

“You know what they say if you are friends with ikhwerekhwere,” said Asanda. “They will say you are one of them.” But she had lost her fire now that Andile was on my side.

“I am not afraid to be her friend,” said Olena.“I will say it front of the whole class. I don’t care. I love Wonanji.”

The teacher walked in and I sat down in my desk next to Olena and Thandeka and Andile, and I knew things were going to be OK.

*****

Home is where you feel safe. Home is where you feel free.

My name is Wonanji Phiri. I was born in Katlehong. My parents are from Malawi. I have lived in South Africa all my life. I am a proud South African Malawian.

I still have the dream of becoming a geologist one day and I am studying to make that dream come true so that my parents won’t have to work anymore. For now I am studying Environmental Health at CPUT and I live in res.

My mother still worries about me. She and my dad are living in Philippi and my brother is in his final year at UJ in Johannesburg.

I am still friends with Olena and Thandeka and although they are not studying at CPUT we speak on the phone often and I see them when I go home. Irene and Esther are back in Malawi and Mapule is studying in Johannesburg.

The best news is that Bright is coming to visit me soon. I can’t wait to see him again. It’s been a long time.

I feel safe for now in my little home I am trying to build at res.

I think about those who lost their lives in June 2008. I believe we should remember them by promoting peace and humanity in South Africa, so that never again shall we as Africans turn against each other.

Home is where you feel safe. Home is where you feel free. I wish that we could all feel safe and free here in South Africa.

***

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