The day of the wedding came, I wanted to bury myself under the blankets and not go. But my mother begged me to get out of bed. She had no idea what was really going on, no one did except for me and the bride.

“Luu!” my mom shouted from downstairs.

I covered myself with blankets wishing they’d make me disappear.

“Luu you have to get out of bed, sana lwam,”

“I’m not feeling too well, I don’t think I’ll make it to the wedding,” I said.

“Oh sana lwam, what’s wrong?” she said, placing her hand on my forehead checking for a temperature.

“I don’t know, ma,” I lied knowing damn well I just didn’t want to see Nomtha get into a loveless marriage when she had all the love she deserved in me.

“You don’t have a temperature, Luu. Get up I’ll get everything ready for you, and we’re driving together to the chapel,” she said, already on her way to the door of my room.

I dragged myself out of bed, my heart breaking with every step. I could not live with the idea that my first love was going to marry someone else, not to mention my brother. I called Nomtha, she didn’t pick up.

“Hi, it’s your wedding day. There was a time in our life where I could’ve been saying ‘It’s our wedding day.’ Please don’t do this. Don’t kill our love,”      I said on her voicemail.

I got ready, but I kept going back to my phone hoping for a text, hoping she’d change her mind about this. Every time I went to check and didn’t find anything my heart broke a little bit more.

The family met in the kitchen for a quick breakfast.

“Taka Luu, Luu and I are driving together to the chapel. You drive with Sicelo,” my mom said as she walked up to my father fixing his tie.

My father was a tall man. Even in heels she was still much shorter than him. My mother was a beautiful, soft spoken person. When they said opposites attract, they meant my parents. Even though they were so different, they raised us with love and affection. Deep down, though, I always felt my father was fonder of Sicelo. My mother, after fixing dad’s tie, suggested we pray. She led the prayer and dad said grace and we left.

On our way to the chapel, mom knew me better than I knew myself.

“Luphelo, what’s wrong with you?” she asked.

“What do you mean?” I jumped on the defensive.

“You haven’t been yourself lately, speak now or forever hold your…” she said looking at me I could feel her eyes as I drove her to the wedding.

Her choice of words made me feel like she knew something. A big part of me wanted to stop the car, cry and tell her everything but I chose to lie.

“Mom, I told you I’m not feeling well. Can we focus on Sicelo, he’s the one getting married,” I said with a little unnecessary anger in hopes of making her stop.

It hurt her feelings, I could tell from the words that followed.

“I’m sorry for being concerned about my little baby boy,” she said.

Those words just shot a sharp sting to my heart. Here was someone worried about me and I was shutting her out. I had one brilliant plan up my sleeve though. I dropped mom at the front of the church.

“I’m going to look for a parking space that’ll make it easy to get out of here,” I told her.

I wasn’t looking for any parking space, I went straight to the dressing room which was where Nomtha was getting ready. I bumped into Nomtha’s friend at the door.

“Luphelo don’t! This is hard enough on her as is, don’t make it worse!” she said, but I wasn’t going to listen I had made up my mind. I was going to get Nomtha, I gently pushed her aside and entered the room.

“Babe, come with me. Let’s leave.” Before I could say anything else, my voice refused to help me and a flood of tears ran down my face.

“Luu we spoke about this,” she said as she joined me in crying. I ran to her and kissed her. We kissed and she pushed me away, crying even more.

“Luphelo stop! This is my family’s livelihood at stake, your family is set. I have to do this for everyone, don’t be selfish. Get out!” she said pushing me out and shut the door behind me.

“Nomtha are you sure you want to do this?” I asked leaning against the door. I could hear her sobbing from behind it, but she mustered the courage to utter three words: “Just leave Luu.”

***

Tell us: Do you think it was a good idea for Luphelo to visit Nomtha right before the wedding?