I can’t believe this…

My whole love life has been a lie! I know I’m not a perfect girlfriend. But what’s a better way to remind me than having my own boyfriend reminding me what a bad girlfriend I’ve been all along. He sure did a splendid job of telling me how to get off the high horse and realise that life is not only about me. It seems as if I keep forgetting that.

This is our worst fight so far. But I’m glad that it happened otherwise I’d not know where I stand with him. I’ve been living a lie all along. I’ve been lying to myself thinking I had a boyfriend who actually cared about me… No, Sebastian doesn’t give a toss about me! If he did then he wouldn’t have applied for a scholarship to study overseas next year without discussing it with me first. Isn’t that his way of telling me that he’s leaving me?

Of course he says that’s not how I’m supposed to look at it. He’s not leaving me, “he’s just giving me space” – trust him to use my own words against me!

Oh, yes, I need the space. He’s quite right on that one… but I’m not sure if I want him to be so far. I mean it is all fine and nice that we are living in a world where social media and other technological advance have made it easier to stay connected, but a year is too bloody long!

What hurts me the most: the fact that he applied for a scholarship and never thought it’d be good if I also knew about! What happened to us not hiding things from each other?

What’s even worse is that he won’t acknowledge that he is wrong. Instead I’m the one who “loves to make everything about herself” and I’m the selfish one who is insensitive to other people’s feelings. Gosh! I could’ve slapped him for speaking such crap about me. In fact, I almost did – but I chose instead to walk away.

I’m not speaking to him anytime soon. Not that he’s tried to call and apologise or anything. I don’t think he will. He’s probably enjoying every minute of this anyways!

ZZ xxx

Dish it: do you hide things from your partner? How would you feel if your partner took a decision without consulting you?

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