DEPARTMENT OF ECONOMICS
RHODES UNIVERSITY
GRAHAMSTOWN, 6140

Ms Trinity Luhabe
Somerset House

Dear Ms Luhabe

Your economics tutor, Mr Brendan Atkinson, informs me that you have only completed two of the three assignments required of you in the first half of the year. You were apparently granted an extension on your third assignment because of a situation involving an aunt who required tests at Fort England – a story strikingly similar to one used by a student in this department two years ago. You failed to meet both this extended deadline and a further extension that was granted when your aunt returned for ‘further tests’.

I regret to inform you that no more extensions will be granted and that you have therefore been awarded zero for the assignment. I note that you received 35% for your first assignment and 38% for your second. This brings your coursework average for the first half of the year to 26%. It is my sincere hope that you will take urgent remedial steps to improve this situation in the upcoming June exams. Extra tutoring and a wide array of Academic Support facilities may be accessed through Mrs Botha of the Academic Support Programme.

Yours sincerely

VM Naidoo

PROFESSOR VM NAIDOO
HEAD OF DEPARTMENT

*****

FACULTY OF FINE ART
RHODES UNIVERSITY
GRAHAMSTOWN, 6140

Ms Trinity Luhabe
Somerset House

Dear Ms Luhabe

I hereby confirm that a further extension has been granted for the submission of your second assignment for Visual Communications. The pressing nature of your family circumstances was taken into account and a decision was made to grant you this second extension.

We therefore expect to receive your assignment promptly at noon on Tuesday 15 May.

I have noticed that your attendance at lectures has been less than satisfactory this term. Please bear in mind that an 80% attendance rate over the year is a DP requirement for this course.

Yours sincerely

Maya Kozinsky

MAYA KOZINSKY
SENIOR LECTURER

*****

Shit!

I am in serious trouble. I’m not just imagining it, am I? This time I really am in trouble.

Everyone seems to be pissed off with me. I haven’t passed a single assignment this whole year. They’re even threatening to take away my DP certificates. In fact, it could hardly be any worse.

No. That’s not true. It could be worse. As Steph says, it’s really only the exams that count. They like to pretend that assignments and lecture attendance are also important, but at the end of the day if you pass the exams you pass the year. And Steph should know. She’s got a whole stack of nasty letters – even more than me. Although, I have to say that when I asked her if she had also failed all her assignments she said, ‘No, not all of them.’

But when I asked her exactly how many she’d passed, she got all vague and wouldn’t say. I suppose she doesn’t want me to feel bad by comparison.

So anyway, June exams are just over a month away. I haven’t got my timetable yet, but honestly how bad can it be? Four courses – four exams. That’s already sounding a lot better than matric, which was ten exams or something hideous like that.

The thing is, though, I really do need to start doing some work. You might think I don’t realise this, but I do. I’m not a total airhead. I know I’m not going to pass first year at the rate I’m going.

Luckily there’s still plenty of time.

So what I’m going to do, I’ve decided, is set aside some time each day to catch up on all the work I’ve missed. It’s such a simple concept, I don’t know why I’ve never thought of it before. But then the simplest ideas are always best, aren’t they?

Yes! This is going to be great. I’ll be all clued up and completely on top of my work for once. I won’t have to be afraid of tutorials any more. When the tutor asks a question, I’ll just raise my hand languidly into the air and give the answer in a bored ‘this is so obvious I can hardly stand it’ voice. Just like Tyler. Only I’ll get there before her. I’ll be the one that the tutors chat to casually after class, not her.

Okay. This is it. I’m going to put my new plan into action right now.

I sit down at my desk and open a photocopied article I’m supposed to have read for Economics. Economics is my most difficult subject by far, so I thought I’d just plunge right in at the deep end and tackle it first.

I feel quite strange sitting here at my desk. Not like myself at all. I feel almost stern and virtuous. Like a female don at some famous university. Oxford or Harvard or something. I even look the part. I put on absolutely no makeup this morning, and even scraped my hair back into a bun. It took me ages. The last time I wore a bun was for ballet when I was about twelve.

I decided that the most important thing to help me concentrate was to be as comfortable as possible. So I’m wearing my new Juicy tracksuit with the zip done halfway up to show just a hint of a pink tank top. I even read somewhere that regular exercise can increase mental alertness. Maybe I should just pop down to the gym at the sports centre for a quick workout.

No. Stop it. Concentrate. I’m here to work.

I frown sternly and look down at the article I’m supposed to be reading.

‘The Application of Keynesian Micro-Economic Theory to the Post-apartheid Corporate Model.’

Hmm …

Okay, you know what I need? Something to drink. My throat is parched. I hop up and switch the kettle on. I’m going to make myself a mug of green tea with a hint of jasmine. It even says on the box that this combination is ‘thought to promote mental acuity’.

Five minutes later I sit down again with my steaming mug and take a sip. Eek, that’s bitter! I should really add some sweetener, but the way I’m feeling right now I just don’t want to. The new, diligent me likes bitter tea. The stronger the better.

I look at my watch. I’ve been at this for nearly an hour now, if you count preparation time. Almost time for a break.

I look at the article again.

The challenge of balancing the need to address socio-economic inequities with the need to promote a vigorous and competitive market economy is one that has bedevilled economic planners since 1994 and before. The anti-Keynesian model of laissez-faire capitalism…

I uncap my yellow highlighter and highlight the words Keynesian and laissez faire. There. That looks really professional. Then it occurs to me that I don’t know what either of them means. I’d better Google them and find out.

I turn to my laptop with relief. I don’t know why I find it so hard to concentrate without a mouse in my hand and a screen in front of me. Conditioning, I guess. I look up Keynesian and laissez faire, and by the time I’ve read through some of the hits, I have a slightly better idea what they mean. I wouldn’t say they’re exactly crystal clear in my mind, but still it’s better than nothing.

You know, while I’m online I might as well just check my Facebook quickly. My old boyfriend, Munashe, said he was going to upload some photos of himself and his friends at Stellenbosch. It would be rude if I didn’t send him a message to say that I’d seen them.

Sure enough, he has posted a new album on his site. I click to open it and immediately burst out laughing. The first picture is of him and his friends mooning the camera. What a bunch of ugly butts. I’m happy to say I can’t even tell which one is his. I flick through the rest of the photos with a smile on my face and am just about to leave a comment on his wall when my door bursts open.

Tell us: Have you turned to social media when you should be working?