GIRL-TALK

Girls say:When they really mean:

We need – I want.
We need to talk. – I need to complain.
I don’t want to talk about it. – Go away, I’m still building up evidence against you.
You have to learn to communicate. – Just agree with me.
I’m not upset. – Of course I’m upset, you moron.
Nothing, really. – It’s just that you’re such an arsehole.
Everything. – My PMS is acting up.
You never listen. – You never listen.
I’m not emotional! And I’m not overreacting! – I’ve got my period.
I’m not yelling! – Yes, I am yelling because I think this is important!
I don’t know; what do you want to do? – I can’t believe that you have nothing planned.
I don’t really mind where we eat. – … as long as it’s the place I’ve already decided on.
Do what you want. – You’ll pay for this later.
No, pizza’s fine. – Cheap bastard.
I’ll be ready in a minute. – Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Is my butt fat? – Tell me I’m beautiful.
Be romantic, turn out the lights. – I have flabby thighs.
You’re certainly attentive tonight. – Is sex all you ever think about?
We’re moving too quickly. – There is no way in hell I am going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine again.
Can’t we just be friends? – I’m not going to sleep with you until I find out if this guy at the newsdesk has a girlfriend.
I like you, but … – I don’t like you.
Oh, yes! Right there. – Well, near there; I just want to get this over with.
Size doesn’t matter. – … unless I want an orgasm.
Do you love me? – I’m going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? – I did something today you’re really not going to like …
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