My friends are not online, which means they’re doing something cool. They’re probably having drinks at News Café, enjoying the Ladies night special. Absolutely nada. My social life has gone down the drain and I can do nothing about it. I spent the past few days trying to catch up on all that I’ve already missed at school, and I’m fed up with books.

My mom won’t let off me at all, even when I tell her I’m taking a break. I’m not a robot you know, I’m a teenager, nearly an adult. I shouldn’t be worrying about drowning in text books so early in the year, but I have no choice. Now I really wish I had Sim’s super brain cells. The kid is smart, what a dork. I think I should make him do some of my work so I can chill and roam around. But what will I do here anyways? I took a break yesterday and went for a walk. This place is uninviting.

Fountain Village, what kind of stupid name is that? There’s nothing to do there, no malls, no sports fields, absolutely nothing. I’m 19. I can’t be expected to watch TV for fun. We don’t even have DSTV yet, but mom says I shouldn’t bother with it. She expects me to have my nose glued to my text books. I’m not that stupid. I’m really dreading ever coming here.

Why didn’t I run away? I would’ve stayed at Noxy’s or Phoebe’s; they would’ve hidden me, even though they haven’t really made the effort to check up on me. I don’t understand why dad didn’t want me to stay with him.

I wish I were back home with dad. We’d probably be doing something cool right now. I’d be chilling by the pool with the girls, listening to some Katy Perry or One Direction, and he’d be playing perfect host. He got me, he really got me. Mom is clueless. She must be going through hell coz she’s been drinking a lot more than usual since we arrived but I’m sure she has herself to blame. She doesn’t care about me so I don’t care about her.

I’m sure you’ve already guessed by now that school was horrible. It sucks a million times and I wish I’d never go back. Everybody is already in their little cliques and I’m just alone. These girls at the cafeteria were talking about a campus party they went to at UWC. I felt like killing myself, what I wouldn’t give.

One girl had on a red high-low mini dress, with a green belt and yellow sandals. She looked OK. I would fit right in with them and show them a thing or two about fashion. But I could see all the other girls were fighting for her attention. There’s already a Queen Bee in that hive so there’s no space for me. I lead, I don’t follow.

I hope tomorrow sucks less.

ZZ xxx