Kendra looked out over the flat, calm surface of the Red Sea and wondered as she had so many times before- would she ever find the right man? All of the evidence pointed her to the inevitable and pitiful answer- NO. She wasted seven years of her life, her best seven years it had to be said, on the stupid, idiotic and frankly not even that handsome- Will. Now she was 35 and single, thanks to “I- need –some- space” Will.

She flopped back on the deck chair, pulled her huge beach hat over her face and closed her eyes. She wished the hot Egyptian sun would lull her to sleep, sleep where her pathetic, loveless life could be forgotten at least for a while.

“Stop it! Stop it right now!”

Kendra turned her head, pushed the brim of her hat back and opened one eye to look at the long, lithe, tan body of her friend Bianca. Her bossy, always in her business, friend Bianca. “Stop what? I’m taking a nap.”

“No, you’re not. You’re having another ‘Poor Kendra’ pity party.” Bianca’s beautiful face was squished into a scowl. “Stop feeling sorry for yourself! I can feel the bad vibes all the way over here. You’re completely killing my mojo with all of that downer energy. My god! You are lying on a beach in Egypt, at the coast of the Red Sea in one of the most exclusive towns and now you want to go all sorry for yourself?”

“So now I’m responsible for killing your mojo as well as not being supportive enough, not looking at the wider picture, laying on too much pressure, not putting enough effort into sex…” Just the beginning of Will”s extensive list of Kendra’s crimes in their relationship.

“No!” Bianca interrupted the list Kendra had taken to reciting whenever her mind tried to forget that her life was a sad pile of nothingness. “No! No! No! Stop it! We came to Egypt to forget about Will the Wanker. Please let’s not have his bloody list again! Oh! You are seriously doing my head in!He’s an idiot and his list is a load of crap. I thought we already agreed on that. He is the one who’s messed up- not you! We agreed to that. You told me you agreed to it.”

Kendra sat up. She took off her hat and pulled the lime-green scrunchee out of her long brown hair. She ran her fingers through her hair as a substitute comb and pushed it all back into the scrunchee again. “How can I forget about a man I spent seven years of my life with, the man I thought I would marry, the man who was to have been the father to my children?”

She could feel the tears coming. They were always right there. Ready to bathe her excuse of life in a salty flood.

“Well first you can stop repeating his bloody leaving speech! I mean really. In all of the years I knew Will the Wanker, which was far more than I wanted to, I never heard him speak more than two sentences in a row and they were exclusively about food or TV and now suddenly he’s the great orator with all sorts of wonderful insights into why your relationship failed? Right. I don’t think so. Your relationship failed because Will was a bloody wanker! Simple and straight forward and the sooner you get to that position the better it will be for everybody, most especially me who is sick and tired of this bloody downer-fest we’ve been having for three weeks!”

Kendra sat back and looked out at the sea. She watched a massive black yacht cross the sea at the horizon. She wondered which millionaire owned that. El Gouna was the holiday destination of the richest both in Egypt and from around the world. Yachts like the one she watched were commonplace, but being a firmly placed middle class girl she would never be able to look at boats like that and not be impressed.

But fancy yachts would not deter her. She was not quite finished with feeling sorry for herself. “Well, if Will’s a wanker than I must be a wanker too- I stayed with him for seven long years.”

Even Kendra could feel how pathetic that sounded. It was like she didn’t want to get out of her hole of self defeatism; she kept digging deeper and deeper getting stuck in good and proper. Perhaps she’d dig a cosy cave down there and move in for good and spend the rest of her life living the “What Could Have Been” tale over and over again until she was hunched over and grey.

But Bianca had other plans. Bianca always had other plans. That’s why they were sitting on lounge chairs in warm sun of El Gouna Egypt. Bianca had a free holiday from work and she thought dragging Kendra along would be a great way to get her out of her end of relationship slump. The holiday was almost over and none of her schemes had worked, but Bianca was not a fan of failure. Time to pull out Plan B.

“We only have two days left here, two days for me to get you out of this Will induced fug. Tonight we’re going to the marina. The population density of rich, sexy men down there is currently at its peak. We will let our hair down and seriously party. And there will be no Will-talk. None. Zilch. Zero. Promise?”

Kendra smiled and nodded her head. Bianca could make all of the plans she wanted, but she knew a few mojitos and a night of sweaty dancing under the crystal clear Egyptian night sky would not be enough to mend her fatally broken heart. But she knew too that Bianca on a mission was like a runaway train with no brakes- unstoppable. Best to give in and get over it.

“No head nodding. I want a promise.”

Kendra raised her right hand. “I promise on my honour that there will be no Will the Wanker talk.”

“Good. And please,” Bianca said scrunching her nose as if something smelled bad, “Lose that disgusting scrunchee before tonight!”


Tell us what you think: Do you think if you are involved with a loser that it reflects badly on you?