I think this is the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life. As soon as Tendai realised that Jayden had seen him kissing me he disappeared into the crowd at Bridles and never came back. The look on Jayden’s face was enough to scare anyone. It turns out that Jayden had come up to Joburg for the weekend especially to surprise me because I sounded so down on the phone. My mom told him I was at Bridles.
After Tendai left, I tried talking to Jayden. I tried explaining to him that I had actually been in the middle of telling Tendai I could never see him again. That the Brutal Fruit I’d been drinking had made me silly. That I didn’t kiss Tendai – he kissed me. That the kiss was horrible anyway.
But he didn’t seem to hear any of it. All he cared about was the sight of me kissing another guy. And to be honest, if I was in his place, that would be all I’d care about too. So now we’ve broken up. I’ve said sorry about a million times, but it hasn’t made any difference. He’s too hurt to care. But still he can’t seem to leave it alone.
I’m waiting for Amanda at the coffee shop in the Grayston shopping centre on Sunday morning when Jayden appears again. He carries right on where we left off on Friday night. With him asking me over and over again how I could have betrayed him like that, and with me apologising and trying to explain. We’re going round in circles when a voice speaks behind us.
“Instead of asking Latoya how she could have betrayed you, why don’t you ask yourself how you betrayed her?”
Jayden and I turn in surprise. It’s Amanda, and it looks like she’s in a fighting mood.
“What do you mean?” Jayden asks defensively.
“I mean that you left her, Jayden, and she was heartbroken. You have no idea how isolated she’s been these last few months. All you could talk about was surfing and what a fantastic time you were having and how you never wanted to come home. And every time she called, you didn’t have time to talk to her because you were so busy. She felt like she was losing you – like you were slipping away from her.”
“Is this true?” Jayden asks, turning to me.
I have a big lump in my throat, so all I can do is nod.
“And I let her down too,” Amanda admits. “I’ve been so wrapped up in Connor that I haven’t been there for my own sister. The only one who showed her a bit of attention was Tendai. It’s not surprising that she turned to him in her loneliness, especially after you encouraged her to hang out with him. Yes, she made a big mistake in letting him kiss her, if only for a second. But you made mistakes too, and I think yours were bigger than hers.”
As I turn back to look at Jayden, I can see him slowly shaking his head…