Oops, I can’t believe I just said that.

I reminded my dad that he had an affair with my mom while he was still married. Amanda must be rubbing off on me. I normally never talk back to adults. If I spoke to my granny like that she would smack me on the head. And if I talked to my mom like that she would ground me for a month.

But my dad doesn’t seem angry at all. After his first shocked look, he just smiles sadly.

“Exactly,” he says. “So I know what I’m talking about. I betrayed my wife and caused my family years of secret sadness. I can’t say I regret it because it led to your birth. But I regret the unhappiness I caused.”

We’re hanging out in the garden of his Strathavon home. Sometimes we go out on Sundays, but often we just stay home. My dad says it will help me feel part of the family. But now I can’t help looking over my shoulder to check if his wife is listening. Amanda’s mom is one scary lady. Luckily I can’t see any sign of her.

“If you start going out with Tendai while you’re still supposed to be with Jayden, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life,” my dad continues. “You never forget the heartache you cause. Either stop seeing Tendai completely, or break off with Jayden and start seeing Tendai properly. But don’t play the two boys off against each other, Latoya. Someone will get hurt, and it might very well be you.”

I shrug my shoulders. This really isn’t what I wanted to hear. I wanted him to say that of course I can keep seeing Tendai while Jayden’s away. It’s completely innocent, after all. And why can’t girls and guys just be friends? Blah blah blah.

But instead he’s saying that I need to make a choice. Jayden or Tendai. That’s what it’s come down to. I need to pick just one.

And now that I think about it, I suddenly know what I have to do. Of course. It’s a no-brainer. I think I realised it all along.