I hate being treated like a fool.
How do you invite me to your friend’s gathering and then leave me there amongst people I hardly know. That’s what Sebastian did. Can you imagine?
He says he wants me to meet his friends, they are having a braai. I wasn’t even in the mood to go out and chill with them. He begs me to go with him and then I go with him, only to be ditched there whilst he goes somewhere. Where? I don’t know. He just left without explaining anything to me. The last I saw of him he was talking on his phone and then he left hurriedly.
What makes it even worse is the fact that I couldn’t go home because we had travelled in his car. (I had to call Noxy to come fetch me, and she already thinks I owe her! “Nothing’s for free,” she reminded me.) When I tried to call him he doesn’t even answer his phone. Mind you, that was yesterday! Even today it just rings and rings, nonstop. I can’t get hold of him. I left him half a dozen messages and voice messages, but he still hasn’t called.
I can see when I’m being taken for a cheap ride! I can tell when I’m being fooled!
For one, who could it be who called last night? Is he back to his old ways, after promising that things wouldn’t go back there?
I don’t know… I really don’t know what to think anymore!
It only has to happen to a woman once for her to lose all trust she had in anything or anybody for that matter – I must have read that somewhere. I just can’t remember where. Or maybe I’m just trying to justify things that are not justifiable. I hate to admit it but my trust in him is deteriorating by the day. And it scares the wits out of me – a relationship without trust is a recipe for failure. I don’t want this to fail. I can start from stretch falling in love all over again – getting to know someone, getting used to the scent of their aftershave all over again. I don’t want to lose Sebastian.
I can’t do that. Maybe I fear being alone. Or maybe I’m just being insecure, right? Maybe I’m just being paranoid, right? Maybe I’m just being myself and blowing things out of proportion. Maybe he had a real emergency! I don’t know… this thinking is mind-wrecking; it’s going to drive me insane!
Phuck it! I’m opening a bottle of wine!
ZZ xxx
Dish it: Do you think I’m blowing things out of proportion? Is Sebastian cheating on me?
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