I don’t feel like doing anything today.

I can’t really describe how I feel right now! To say I’m exhausted would be a gross understatement. It’s been a busy week. I wrote only 2 of the semester tests I was supposed to write this year.

Of course I had studied for all of them. In fact, I wrote Community Service yesterday and I’m sure that I nailed it. I expect nothing less than a distinction. I only had two chapters to study and the test was easy and not challenging. After writing, I immediately went to the Library to recap on the St. Augustine chapter that Mr Williams said we should study for our Political Ideology test.

Honestly, I have never been so lost in my life.

I couldn’t make sense of the chapter no matter how hard I tried. What’s worse is that I didn’t even have a past question paper to use for reference purposes. I did my best to try and understand what the chapter was on about, but the more I tried the more I seemed to not understand it. Mr Williams had said we should focus on St. Augustine’s book The City of God, however, even my attempts to Google the book or its summary yielded absolutely no results.

There’s nothing that grinds me like failing to understand something. I go out of my way to make sense of things, but this one just made me feel like a dummy-head. I spent so much time on it that by the time I decided to give up and recap on the other two modules I was writing today my mind was already fucked up.

This morning at 8 I wrote. How was it? The worst test I’ve ever written! It was so bad that I decided there and then that I’m not writing the two other tests. I just couldn’t. I mean, I already know I failed it. Honestly, I don’t expect anything more than a 50% mark. Mr Williams had said we must, at least, write an essay of 4 pages and I only managed one-and-a-half.

I’ve been avoiding mom’s calls since Monday, but today, after that test, all I wanted was to hear her comforting voice. She says I should go home for the weekend.

I guess going home is exactly what I need after the rough week I had. But, in the meantime, a glass of wine might just help me get perspective, hey. Who knows?!

ZZ xxx

Dish it: What would you do if you were me?