I blame my Virgin Loser status on my family. I live with my ouledi and seven sisters. And for sure they love me crazy, but I’m drowning in girl hormones.

I can’t go to school to escape Team Frank ‘cos the whole family’s there. My sisters are spread through the grades like cold sores. And Mama’s the Life Orientation teacher.

It’s no joke. She’s the one who stands in front of the class and goes all Malema-mouth about Condoms and Crabs and Warts and Aids and all the other stuff you don’t ever want to talk to your ouledi about. Especially not with thirty classmates watching.

This morning I’m thinking on my homies’ challenge: Learn how to party or take a hike. I’m still not sure.

But then Mama kisses me goodbye in the school corridor in front of the whole world. And then she asks me if I’ve remembered my asthma pump. And would I buy some tampons for my sisters. She says this loudly. In front of EVERYONE. In front of Silas and Mondli – who do what Benni did to Bafana-Bafana and turn their backs on me.

And in that moment I make up my mind.

Image: Steve Vosloo, CC-By-SA-2.0

WHAT DO YOU THINK? What kind of things do your parents do that embarrass you?