It’s the first day and you are starting at a new school. You don’t know anybody and nobody knows you. When you rock up at the gates you are overwhelmed by the bodies of teenagers, buzzing all around the school grounds, black, white, coloured, Indian; you name the colour, they are there. Your student card and time table are your only connection to this new territory. You need to get to assembly and to class, but like I said; you’re a foreigner in a foreign land. What is the first thing that you will do?

Take your time and think before you answer.

Well, let me tell you, you start gravitating towards people your own race. Yes, it’s true. It’s not what you planned but it just – unfortunately – is the nature of things. We may think we are not colour conscious but sadly, deep down in our systems there is a chip that just switches on when we are not in our comfort zones.

You see this everywhere! The group of white kids all chilling together. The black ones in their own little cluster somewhere far. The coloureds, laughing the loudest, somewhere in the middle. The Indians, and so and so forth.

But you will find some in those groups that just stand out like sore thumbs; one or two. And that only happened because over time, those people started chatting and found common ground. Now they are friends.

Now, like many young South Africans, “Born frees”, I grew up oblivious to this. I knew what we were taught at History but it made no difference to me. It was a choice; to see all people with the same eye. I knew that society was divided by social class and I tried to be oblivious to this also.

Now I was lucky because I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth and I always, somehow, belonged to the more “elite” crowd. To me that was not because I was black and rich, but because I was loud and spunky and that made me generally loved.

I found out later in life that I was termed a “sell-out” when my best friend was white in the seventh grade. This was not because I went out seeking a white bestie, but because Phoebe and I had more in common than Noxy and I did. But things made it worse: I dated a white boy. Not because he was white, but because he was the hottest thing in school. And he looked good draped around my arm (a girl ain’t complete without her accessories) all over the school grounds and malls.

The sad truth is that South Africans have a problem and they do not want to talk about their issues. The R-word is never mentioned in public but it’s whispered out by people’s reactions to everything.

What’s the R-word? I hear you ask. Rubbish, Robbery… It could be both. Because we do have issues of Rubbish – when the strikers litter the streets and we just pollute our continent to make a point. And aren’t we all affected by crime? But no, those two things are not important enough for South Africans; we couldn’t be bothered by that.

I am talking about racism. And racism is not just whites having a problem with blacks; it goes vice-versa too. Even the same race of people is racial towards each other because of social economic classes. Sad.

Yet we pretend that it is not there, we do not deal with it; we sweep it under our carpets hoping that it will just remain there forever.

Why is it that we need events to stand together as a nation; like the time when Tata Madiba was in Hospital or even during the world cup? We never look at issues until they touch us personally.

Sebastian’s mum is refusing me access to see my man because I am black.

I refuse to be treated like trash just because of the colour of my skin. If she wants a white daughter-in-law, then tough luck for her. She just has to swallow her pride and come back to earth. I am black and I am proud. This thing of judging people by the colour of their skin needs to stop; we are all human regardless of how lighter or darker our complexions are.

I am not going to allow his mom to treat me like this. I won’t allow it, not now, and not anytime soon. Today I am going to that hospital and I am going to see him, whether she agrees or not.

Drop a line for a sista if you feel me. 😉

ZZ xxx