“What do you love me for?”

That’s the million dollar question. So let’s talk about it, then.

A month ago I was hanging out with Nosiphiwo, a friend of mine, when she said something which would’ve been very surprising to anyone who didn’t know her relationship issues like I do.

“I knew he didn’t deserve me, Sicelo, but I still stayed with him. He always told me he loved me, but now I don’t even know what he loved about me…”

She was saying all of this after her long-time boyfriend had just broken up with her. One of the most interesting things about what she told me is when she admitted that she doesn’t even know what he loved about her.

I mean, it’s crazy, right?

The two of them were together for more than six months and they’d even gotten to the I-love-you stage in their relationship, but she still wasn’t sure what he loved about her.

The question that I’m guessing a lot of people would ask if they heard about this story is “why the hell didn’t she just ask him what he loved about her?”

This is where some people’s opinions probably differ. Some would probably say that a girl or guy shouldn’t ask why their boyfriend or girlfriend says they love them; they should just accept that they are loved. Some, on the other hand, would probably say that if their boyfriend or girlfriend says they love them, that boyfriend or girlfriend must explain why they say they love them.

I am one of those that believe that a person must explain why they say they love you. In the world we live in now it’s become easy to say the words “I love you” without really meaning it. If a person really loves you they should be able to explain what makes you so awesome to them.

I’m always happy when a girl I’m dating asks me: “Sicelo, what is it that you love about me?”

When she asks me these types of questions it tells me that she’s a girl who isn’t afraid to ask a guy she’s dating, tough questions. It tells me that she knows that there are people out there that say “I love you” or “I like you” just to get what they want from you, and not because there’s actually something they love or like about you. So I gladly answer her questions. I let her know that I love an intelligent, kind, friendly and adventurous girl, and that she has all those things so that’s what I love about her.

Of course, there’ll always be people out there that believe that if you ask them why they say they love you, you’ve got a low self-esteem. Those people will tell you to just accept what they’ve said and not ask you any questions. They’ll say that if you really love yourself and know what’s awesome about you then you shouldn’t ask anyone else to tell you what they love about you. Basically, they’ll tell you that it’s a bad idea to ask these types of questions. But the one question you should ask when they say such things to you is: what’s so hard about telling someone that you love what you love about them? I mean, if you really do love someone, it should be easy, right?

Well, this is where I let you tell me what you think.

When people tell you they love you, do you just accept what they say or do you ask them what they love you for?

#ChatBack: And do you think it’s a good or bad idea to ask these kinds of questions?