Yes, ladies and gentleman, loving a person too much really can get you killed.

Okay, I’m just kidding about the killing part, but loving too much really can bring you a world of trouble, though.

I found this out recently. I was unlucky enough to really love two friends of mine who hated each other. These two women, Palesa and Foxy, hated each other so much that I had to make sure that when I was with the one, the other wouldn’t find out at all. I became so worried about making them happy that I ended avoiding anyone who these two chicks didn’t like. I never stopped to ask myself how annoying the situation was to me. These people were making me sneak around like some kind of thief just to make them happy.

Of course, the situation eventually blew up in my face. I ran into Foxy one night. She was drunk. And the first thing to come out of her mouth was “you stabbed me in the back, Judas…” She made a scene in front of everyone and made me feel like umamgobhozi (gossip-monger) just because a friend of hers had caught me hanging out with Palesa. I wished the earth could open up and swallow me. For the first time in my friendship with her, I had to stop and ask myself if loving her so much was killing me. And the answer, unfortunately, was yes. Loving her too much made me lose my dignity in front of a lot of people and in that way it was killing me.

If I still haven’t convinced you that loving too much will only bring you trouble, imagine if a picture with the title “WATCH OUT: HE’S A STALKER!” was hung throughout your school by the girl you love. Imagine if everyone on the school grounds, even some of the teachers, were, then, laughing at you everywhere you turned. Imagine if it didn’t matter whether you were in the toilets, on the playgrounds, in class or even in the tuck-shop, everyone would just be laughing at you. How would you feel? You’d probably sit down somewhere and ask yourself what you’re doing wrong, right?

Well, I’d be very surprised if the above stuff happened to you and you still didn’t sit down and ask yourself what you were doing wrong.

But before we even start talking about what you can do stop yourself from having to go through what I went through, we have to get one thing straight: there’s NOTHING wrong with loving another person!

Some could say the problem is when you love a person so much that you don’t care about the trouble it gets you into. In other words, you’re willing to lie for the person or spend money you don’t really have just to show the love you have them. So is this where you have to stop for a moment and ask yourself why you’re always the one who has to call, the one who has to SMS, start a conversation on Whatsapp or Facebook? Is this where you have to ask if this person even loves you? Because when you don’t call, SMS, or start the conversation, this person keeps quiet as if you don’t exist.

So tell me what you think.

#ChatBack: What are some of the things you’ve done to prove that you love the people around you?

And would you do anything for them or are there things you’re not willing to do?

In other words, would you call and text even when those people are ignoring you?

Would you sacrifice your time and money for them or is there a time when you should just say “NO”?