I was sitting in the train a month ago and, out of boredom, I ended up listening in on the conversation of three chicks. Two of them were big ladies while the third was much slender in weight. The first of the two big ladies was talking about how she’d dealt with a guy who was trying to get her number at the club. Apparently, this guy was refusing to take no for an answer and when she didn’t change her mind, he called her “a fat idiot.” From the sound of it, his insult didn’t get her down at all, because she bounced back with a quick answer.

“Ndises’ya is’dudla siz’thanda kakhulu ke mnake. So ingathi esona sibhanxa apha nguwe (“I’m the kind of big girl who loves herself a whole lot, so it looks like you’re the big idiot here”).

She then told her friends that he was so embarrassed by her response that he pretended to not even be listening.

Her story got me thinking about something Chris Rock said a while ago. According to Mr Rock, during a fight, one person can say whatever they think will hurt the other person the most, no matter how offensive it is. So basically, if a person has a size-fifteen foot and they hate that about themselves, you can use it against them in a fight. This must surely make us wonder about the power we give to the things we hate about ourselves. If you have crooked teeth or a size-fifteen foot, but you don’t hate it or dislike it, then no one can use it against you and you won’t constantly feel uncomfortable amongst people with smaller feet and straighter teeth.

It really worries me that there are people out there constantly worrying about trying to hide things which they don’t like about themselves or things which other people don’t like about them. If people are telling you that you have a bad attitude because you’re selfish and lazy, try to change that bad attitude instead of hiding it and pretending to be something you’re not.

Hiding your “imperfections” probably means you believe that there are perfect people out there. It means you probably fear that those “perfect people” will do exactly what Chris Rock recommends and use your “imperfections” to insult you. But why would you think that there’s anyone perfect out there? Is it because their eyes are extra green, brown or blue? Is it because their hair is extra long; their figure extra curvy; their muscles extra-large?  What exactly is it that makes them perfect?

I want you to think about your answer carefully.

Perfection can, surely, not just be based on how you look, right? It can, surely, not just be based on whether you have a pointy nose, a round face instead of a thin face, and thirty-two teeth instead of thirty-eight teeth, right? It must, surely, also be based on the things you’ve said and done; the thoughts and feelings you’ve had and a bunch of other stuff that are unique to you. I’m thinking that perfection is probably also based on how smart, kind, emotionally-strong and selfless you are.

If we look at perfection in this way then it becomes pretty clear that it’s impossible to be perfect. It becomes clear that no one is perfect because a lot of people spend their entire lives learning how to be kinder, smarter, emotionally stronger and less selfish. So, yes, ladies and gentleman, imperfection is just a word.

Tell me what you think.

#Chatback Do you agree that no one is perfect?

And if you agree, tell us about your imperfections and how you feel about them.

Is imperfection just a word that has no power over our lives?

Basically, should we just try and make the best out of our imperfections?