Dribbled: A slang term that refers to someone being played or cheated on by their girlfriend or boyfriend.
When we are young and in love, we often tend to overlook some of the flaws of our partners out of fear of creating unnecessary drama – this is especially true in the beginning phases of a relationship when we fear scaring off our new baes.
However, sometimes there are red flags that the person you have given your heart to is actually playing you, and may not be looking for anything serious.
Here are some of the things to look out for:
1. He/she is really protective of their phones
Your partner being really aggressive and cagey when you ask to look through or even simply hold their phones is a big red flag that they may have something to hide – do not ignore this! While there could be other explanations around their secrecy (they could, for example be planning an anniversary or birthday surprise for you) if they consistently do not want you near their phones, communicate with them calmly about why this upsets you. If your gut feeling tells you something is not right, it may be time to cut your losses and get yourself out of that toxic relationship.
2. Bae only wants to meet with you on their terms
Your partner only wanting to meet you at specific places and never wanting spontaneous visits from you for lunch at work or after classes is another area of concern and could be a sign that you are not the only person they are seeing. While they could be busy with exams or have a ton of deadlines at work, nobody is always busy and people who are in love tend to make time for the ones they love.
3. No PDA at all!
No, I’m not talking about a total make-out session in public, but simply light touches and hand-holding to show the world that the two of you are together. While there are couples who dislike the idea of public displays of affection, this is generally something you and your partner decide together. Your partner suddenly dropping your hand when good-looking guys or girls show up, could be their way of trying to seem available and this is something that needs to be addressed.
4. They never want to introduce you to people
Bae does not want you meeting anyone who is important to them, be they friends or family. Another huge red flag is your partner not knowing how to tell people who you are to them. So instead of saying something like, “Jenny, this is my girlfriend, Sheila,” they’ll be like, “This is Sheila, she’s my…uhm…” and then not know what you say after that. Whether you guys are exclusive or simply having fun, the terms of your relationship need to be made clear to both parties so that neither of you end up getting hurt.
5. They can go days without talking to you
Guys, any person who can go days or even weeks without any sort of communication with you needs to be dropped like a hot potato, finish and klaar. This may be bae’s way of breaking up with you by simply ignoring you and hoping the relationship fades away – while this is a very cowardly move, it does sometimes happen.
6. Ending conversations, but still on WhatsApp
Bae taking long to open your messages or being online on WhatsApp at all hours of the night when they said “goodnight” to you at 9pm is definitely something you need to address. It is rather dismissive and they could be using that time to chat to their side-chicks/guys.
7. They do not want you tagging them on ANYTHING on Facebook/Twitter
Your partner claims they want to keep your relationship private, with their social media showing NO signs of your place in their life. They refuse to be tagged in pictures of you together and make stupid excuses as to why this is so. Even funny videos or memes that you share on their timelines are promptly removed or the privacy settings are changed so only certain people can see them.
While some of the signs mentioned above may have very reasonable explanations, it is better to discuss them with your partner and understand where you stand in the relationship rather than simply holding your tongue out of fear of making waves.
Tell us: Have any of you come across any of these signs in your relationship? How did you deal with them?