So the big birthday of 21 arrived. And the most common question I got asked was, “How does it feel to be 21?” My response: the same as being 20.

But in all honesty, I guess being 21 does indeed feel different, a sense of adulthood suddenly thrown on me. What I can say is I learned quite a lot through the years. Being 21 was just a year added to that growth, and just another year of more learning about myself, people and life.

What I learned is that not everyone that smiles at you is your friend. I learned that people can easily pretend to have your back, but as soon you turn your back they’re speaking behind it…

I thus learned that true friendship is not measured by the amount of followers you have or by the amount of text messages you receive, it’s not about who’s around when you’re out having fun, but it’s about who sees every part of your dark side and hears every part of your cries, yet chooses to stay. It’s the ones who help you when you’ve fallen, the ones who see what you don’t see, cause you’re too blinded by a false perception of a made-up reality.

I know all about the pressure of trying to be perfect and trying to measure up, but with such high expectations, once you mess up it can result in tremendous amounts of insecurity and inadequacy. I did not deserve the appreciation that my family wanted to show me and certainly did not deserve a key. But I was told that, “Your worth and your value are not measured by your past failures, but they’re measured by what you’re doing now. And what you’re doing now is enough.” So I accept the 21st key, not because I’ve been a good perfect girl (cause I have not at all, nope, not even close) but I accept the key as a symbol of unlimited possibilities. We all have the chance to start new, to start fresh and to be extraordinary.

I learned I am valued. It was not actually something I learned, it was something I discovered, a truth that was hidden from my eyes because I chose not to accept it, but I do now. I know now that my value is immeasurable; I’m treasured, precious and one of a kind. Not everyone will treat me like a special jewel, but as long as I believe it I shall walk in it and because I now know who I am, I can choose who stays in my life and who should not.

I learned that life goes on. There is a purpose in everything. Even in the pain. There is always laughter after the tears.

I learned that life is quite short. Therefore, enjoy it and live and most importantly make sure you don’t give a damn about what people think or say about you. I learned that nobody is perfect. I learned to accept my flaws and embrace my talents. I learned that there will be days where you just don’t feel okay, but I now know that despite those days there is still a reason to be thankful and I find those reasons in the little things of life that God shows me, such as the happiness of my little sister when she sees me home, the fact that I still have both my parents living with me and who, might I add, tolerate my nonsense. I have the best gift ever, and that is the gift of being loved.

21 is just an age, but it is a special age because at 21 you discover that life’s direction is controlled by your own choices, and the possibilities are endless.

IG: THEspecialjewel